Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pwoggie Bloggie Roundup - With Extra Glee!

As Bagdad and Kabul explode into violence and God-Emperor Obama moves troops into Columbia for a third front on the War on Terror Drugs What-The-Fuck-Ever, lets check in with our Official Emperor Obama Glee Club members and see how they address these troubling events. But first, the Imperial Glee Club Theme Song:

Who's the leader of us all,
in Imperial America,
"B-A-R! A-C-K! O-B-A-M-A!"
Barack Obama!
Barack Obama!
Let's all hold our Emperor's banner high!
High! High! High!

Alas, a pwog - These Afghani women protesting our puppet regime's new law prove my point about lying wingnuts. Or something. Anyway, there were protesters. So I win. Ha.

Balk the Left - Senator Kennedy should resign so we can have the crappy plastic toy daddy said we could have. Doesn't he realize the immense power we pwogwessives wield?

Diggly Wiggly - Here's a long winded, largely bullshit argument on why the public option, or rather co-ops, uh, Mo'Betta Bowers says, uh, oh fuck it! Just send in your checks, you stupid fucking rubes!

Gesundheit - We tried! Oh how we tried so very very very hard to stop them! Alas! Our efforts to elect every fucking warmongering democrat piece-of-shit we could were somewhat ineffective at stopping the slaughter. Oh well. (And a lone voice from the comment section responds to Brahamin Atrios' soulful lament: "STOP HELPING US!")

The NewsPwoggers - Ya know what we need to halt the unimaginable slaughter in Iraq and Afghanistan? Mo'betta pwoggie bloggies!

Obot Left - Ya ever notice how much I'm like William Wallace? You may use the comments section to tell me how much I'm like Mel Gibson, peons.

Pandadroppings - Barney Frank is teh funny! Whoot for our team!

Pwogman! - We're irresolute weenies! Hooray for us!

Shake-A-Puddin - Barney Frank is teh funny! Whoot for our team!

Grampa - Uh, I got nothin'.

Lamey - Lookit these fuckin' wingnuts! Buy my CD!

(Props in this roundup edition go to The NewsPwogs and Brahmin Atrios for actually acknowledging that places like Iraq and Afghanistan (but not Columbia) actually exist. Good pwoggies. Gooooood pwoggies.)

(Update: Diggly herself managed to put up a short post, not on the violence going on now, of course, but on a report issued by her party's GayTM on the persecution of gay men in Iraq. Apparently it makes her heart hurt. As if that were worth any fucking thing to anyone.)

(Updater: Newspwogger Steve Hynd loses all the brownie points his site had earned by abjectly apologizing to one of the A-list pwog bloggers he'd earlier had the temerity to criticize. Way to show your pwoggie yellow streak, Steve.)


  1. War on Sovereignty is accurate, but most progressives are perplexed by the fact that sovereignty applies equally to industrial states as well as indigenous nations under international law. Cyrano's ran a useful piece on the former.

  2. I've posted so many times on Plan Colombia (the model Obama both supports and plans to implement in Afghanistan), that saying anything more is probably redundant. Except for the fact that it is neoliberalism on steroids, meaning that indigenous peoples everywhere should be on guard against pro-corporate death squads armed by the US.

  3. I think we should give the pwogs a break. They've announced that they're boycotting their insurance providers and refusing to pay premiums on any insurance policy until health insurance is single payer. In reaction to Plan Colombia, they've sworn to vote for any anti-war, anti-interventionist candidates, be they green, libertarian, paleo-constitutionalist or socialist, provided they're running against cruise missile liberals.

    It takes guts to admit mistakes. I, for one, am proud of them.

  4. I think we should give the pwogs a break, too. I'm thinking maybe kneecaps.

  5. I think a distinction can be made between Biblical capitalists who want to murder infidels just for the hell of it, and progressives who are willing to do the same for profit and prestige. The moral currency of this distinction, however, may not be enough to get you a steaming cup at Starbuck's.