Monday, August 10, 2009

Dear Virginia, STFU.

It's well known that God-Emperor Obama and many of his higher ranking staff always turn to the Newspwoggers for advice on how to conduct the affairs of state. After all, the Newspwogs have long been blindly faithful democrats and good little citizens of the Empire, supporting the carnage in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere with their money and votes even as they decry the slaughter. I mean, who wouldn't respect that kind of integrity? I know I do. You bet.

With that, I would like to introduce you the Newspwogger's latest missive to our President. It's a long letter, full of implications and instructions, cajolery and mendacity, flim-flam, flip-flop and foo-forrah. Let's look at a few snippets:

Left unchecked fear of this unknown leads to anger, rage and the mob behavior we are now witnessing. This frustration is real. The anger is not counterfeit. And the cause cannot be explained simply by pointing a finger at any one group. It is the consequence of many different interests converging in a perfect storm, a tipping point resulting in public conflict that has not been seen for many years.

So a couple of RNC public relations groups use a handful of Limbaugh Losers to stage some phonyass demos in a bunch of phonyass DNC health care hearings and suddenly it's the Dissolution Of The Fucking Republic? Really? I wonder, does our author get out of his mom's basement much?

Fear is the emotion of the day. We fear the unknown. We fear that what might happen may be even worse than what we know.

We fear the darkness of night and the savage fangs of wild animals and the career of Sienna Miller! Save us, Oh Emperor Most High! Save us!

You must accept and validate this public rage and find a way to redirect it toward the real villains in our midst, the well-funded organized groups now spending millions of dollars on a war of television commercials, viral emails, social networks, scripted rage at public meetings and old-fashioned gossip that distort the realities of the status quo and what will surely come to pass if we fail to take action.

Not only is he President, Emperor and Saviour, but Obama is also our therapist. Also, all the real frustration, anger and fear is just "scripted rage" now. So you can forget about it. No biggy.

This is not the playoffs. We are only part way through the game. This is "time out" an the ball has bounced in your direction.

Ah, now here we're on more familiar pwoggie ground. After all the wailing and weeping and dire warnings, a good old pwoggie sports metaphor. Because, you see, your average sheltered, suburban, middle class, faugressive demotard has no more notion of how our political system works than a lightly retarded weasel has about string theory. But in the pwoggie world, politics doesn't affect anybody real. You know, anyone who counts.

As far as pwogs like Hootsbuddy are concerned, it's really all just a game.


  1. The constant finger-wagging from these morons is truly pathetic to witness. As if President Hope and his overlords give a fuck what they think.

    The way these twerps repeatedly hand over the store on Day One, for less than nothing, then whine over and over about how nobody respects them... Sweet Jeebus. Makes me wish I was in the used car business.

    -- ms_xeno

  2. Me too, but only if I could run them over with one. But I think George Carlin put it best when he said:

    "Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer."

  3. I'm thinking of sending the Right a nice supermarket fruitcake this Xmas. Even if they don't succeed in busting apart Hopeman's idiotic "reforms," at least they made the effort. That should count for something.

    -- ms_xeno