Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Wolf In Pwog Clothing?

(Extreme Obot?)

Fellow pwogwranglers, I may have been hornswoggled! The cumulative time spent reading Extreme Obot's blog has left me thinking he's running a clever parody blog Colbert-style. How else can one explain this:
"While that small but very vocal minority of Obama-haters keep chattering on, our awesome President keeps doing what he said he would do and delivering on his promises. Washington pundits don’t know how to act when someone actually does what they say and doesn’t let the media push them around with poll results. Keep it up, “Prez”, you’re doing an excellent job."
By itself this paragraph doesn't mean much. You can find similar on any of the pwoggie blogs. But the sheer amount of blind Obama worship! The vituperative hatred spat at anyone who dares to criticize the God-Emperor! Even the gawd-awful industrial gray look of the page begs the question - could even the most sycophantic demotard come up with a blog that repulsive?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Big Fish Eating Little Fish

Item - Chris Bowwow, the DNC lapdog, is bailing on his little foundation funded fauxgressive Obot Left site. Did the grant money run out? Who knows. But now he'll be wagging his tail in a specially made (and specially paid) kennel at DailyKult (aka 'the Great Orange Satan') as per a weepy goodbye post at Obot Left.

"But the plants will die without you!" wail the disconsolate dembots in the comments. Well, sure, but they're all plastic plants anyway - as befits an astroturf site like Obot Left. The only question left is - who's gonna feed Rosenberg his daily dose of DNC talking points? Who's gonna empty Sirota's drool bucket? And what about Scarecrow's brain?!

Friday, August 13, 2010

A sad, sad day for pwoggiedom

Mystery Matt's last known photo

That bastion of journalistic excellence, Progressive Reports Now, has published a shocking transcript of what may very well be the last interview of A-list pwoggie bloggie doggie / Hah-vad dipshit Matt Yglesias.

Our spies whisper that, in the course of an interview with ace fictional reporter Amber Milgram, every fauxgressives fave-rave fuckhead went into a ferocious feeding frenzy, consuming part of Amber's desk, some recording equipment and a passing office temp before lapsing into a coma-like state.

Reportedly, the last words of the professional bootlick were: "God...Dog...Krugman..."

No one at Yglesias' employer, DNC propaganda spewer Twink Pwogwess is talking - but rumors of his condition are multiplying like rabbits on meth. Some say he's dead. Some say he's still in a coma. Some say his head has been severed, placed in an ice cream bucket, frozen and shot into orbit. Some say he's been ground to a fine powder, shipped to China and sold as insect repellent. Some say he was only a couple of dogs in a man-suit to begin with.

Where in the word is Matt ? Who knows. But whatever the truth is, our crack DGH staff will keep updating this story as news, rumor and innuendo roll in.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday Pwoggie Roundup - Move 'em out, pwoghide!


Teh intarwebs was gifted today with a jar of Instant Hilarity, courtesy of White House Press Fellator-In-Chief Bobby Gibbs. The faugressive moo-cow reaction to his stampy little hissy fit was immediate and immediately hilarious. Here's the roundup:

Alas, A Pwog - "You know what's really important? Fat kids."

Balk the Left - {Okay, how can I soft peddle this so my pwoggies don't spin out of control like last time?} "Here's a thread and another and another DONE! Controversy over! Now find something else to talk about."

Bibbidybobbidyboo - "OMG look at the wingnuts! How could anyone not vote democrat after seeing these tea party racists who are so racist and insane?"

Extweeeeeeeem! - "The TARP bailout was signed by teh Bush! I have proof! Our God-Emperor is holy and blameless and perfect in every way! All Hail the God-Emperor!"

Gesundheit - "Hahaha. That Gibbs - what a card. Hahaha. Ha."

Newspwoggers - "Hi. I haven't got the foggiest fucking clue about US foreign policy, military strategy or history in general. But, hey, I might get a chair at nutroots nation if spew coherent-sounding bibble-babble long enough!"

Obot Left - "Hey! Watch out! Doesn't the White House know we're SWING VOTERS? We might not vote Democrat next time, ya know! And now I'm going to ignore thirty years of history and present my proof. Exit polls! Haha! My logic is infallible!"

Pwogman! - "I know just how Gibbs feels. Damn those progressives who don't listen to me and think the way I tell them to! Damn them!"

Shakes the Democrat - "Teh Outrage! Worship me, shakies! (And remember, I'll banish anyone who disagrees with me!)"

Shakes' Comments Section - "We worship you! We worship you!"

Grampa Institution - "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

Lamey - "My taxes pay your salary, Gibbs! So watch out! Oh, and, uh, Fuck You! Yeah, that's it! Boy am I edgy!"

Panderdome - "I'm not a hippie, and I'll always support the Democratic Party of America no matter what they do, but I'm still offended. But the point is, my taxes pays Gibbs salary! How dare he!"
Extreme Liberal (actual photo)

Update: Correctly assuming that her pwoggie bloggie followers aren't much different from her dog, and thus won't get excited if she doesn't get excited, Diggy emerges from her gated community to pronounce: "Eh. No big deal.")

Son of Update: Making up for lost time, rising pwog-dog star Extreeeeeeeeem Wibberal twirls with delight, his little tail wagging like a metronome on overdrive, straining at the leash to personally lick Bobby Gibbs boots. Three posts and counting! ("Fuckington Post?" Really?)

Update 3 - in 3D!: And the prize for the most nauseating Obot apologia goes to cringing democrat toady Mike Lux at Obot Left for bragging about his work on reconciling pwoggies and union dupes to the wonders of NAFTA. (Hey, fuckhead, I've got 2 million landless Mexican farmers who'd like to have a word with you, you fucking shithead.)