Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Massa's in de cold cold ground.

As dozens are murdered in their foreign wars of conquest and occupation, let's check in on our stable of merit class delusional sycophants and watch them compete with each other over who can grovel the most abjectly at the dead feet of one of their massively over-privileged elites.

Balk the Left - Big Head Demotard takes the lead, praising the crumbs they were thrown and wishing that each and every member of the "Progressive Block" in the house were as big a drunk as their fallen fearless leader in the Senate. Sob.

Diggly Wiggly - Fondly remembers her master saying something nice about her boyfriend. (For real hilarity, check out the ass kissing in the comments!)

NewsPwoggers - As the most coldly rational and really realistic realists of the pwoggie bloggie crackpot realists, the Newspwoggers uncharacteristically recommend a weepy, schmaltzy, utterly unconvincing rationalization of the Kopechne murder. (Did you know ol' rat bastard Joe had Rosemary lobotomized? Who gives a fuck, pwog?)

Obot Left - Performing an act of necrophilia that would have made Ed Gein say: 'Oh, hey, just wait a minute now!', Mike "Left of the Left" Lux does things to "The Greatest American Senator Ever in the History of Ever" and, well, it's can't describe...Aaaaauuuugh! My eyes!

Pandadroppings - After 'Left Left' Lux's disgusting act of degradation, Amanda's simpering comes almost as a relief.

Pwogman! - Stevie D tries to out disgust 'Left Left' Lux...and fails.

Shake-A-Puddin - Ya know, as servile a bunch of limp noodle personality cultists as the "Shakies" are, you'd think they could do better than this pathetic, hackneyed excuse for a eulogy. I'm mean, the best this moron can come up with is tearily quoting lines from "Camelot." No, really, fucking "Camelot!"

Lamey - Not only does this rightwing Regan democrat dipshit think the sun shines out of his God-Emperor's ass, he lists JEDI among his master's massive achievements. He even links to the fucking Heritage Foundation. Yes, Lamey really is the face of the democrat "left."

"Down in de pwoggie blogs
Hear dat mournful sound:
All de demotards am a weeping,
Massa's in de cold, cold ground."

(As public grieving has become the new spectator sport for couch potato webtards, I've no doubt that this perfect storm of sycophantic crap in honor of Senator Wormfood has only just started, dear readers. Stay tuned!)

(Update: For a good example of pwoggie rationalization at work, go watch the crew at Alas! tie themselves in knots trying to make excuses for Senator DateRape. I personally like the "Well, he lost his chance to be president! Isn't that punishment enough?" argument. Hilarity!)


  1. I can't bear to look.

    What did Old Ted do for us, besides vote for the Patriot Act and No Child's Behind? I can recall a time when Democrats thought those votes were badges of shame. They were right, too.

  2. You really ought to stay current with pwogwessive theology, Al. All of Teddy's sins were absolved upon the ascendancy of God-Emperor Obama. For it says in The Book of Pwog: "Lo! Only believe in Obama and support Him in the primaries and all thy inequities of decades of spinelessness shalt be washed away."