Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Blame Canada!

Obot Left's resident faux-green democrat Natasha Chart is having something of a pwoggie hissy fit. Now you it's a general rule of thumb with pwogwessives that words mean much much more than actions. You don't need actual sticks and stones to scare a pwoggie - names are more than enough. After all, that's the whole raison-d'stupid behind the switch from 'liberal' to 'progressive.'

This particular dust-up was between Chart and author/antiwar activist/Kerry supporter Naomi Klein. Now, being Canadian, Klein probably isn't completely aware of all the nuances of the jellyfish left's doormat strategy when it comes to what's laughingly called "the culture wars" here in the good 'ol Red White & Blue. It's pwoggie doctrine, when confronted by the right's media attack machine, to immediately fall down on the floor and beg not to be kicked. That's pretty much how "liberals" became "progressives."

So, yeah, words. And the word that got up Chart's nose is 'reparations.' In the context of climate change, "reparations" means, in short, that the biggest world polluters should pony up for all the crap they've been spewing into the atmosphere that's been fucking with the worlds climate. That's how Klein, and most of climate change activists, use it.

You can read the gory details of the Chart-Klein brouhaha here. But the thing is, to Nutroots Nation shill-wannabes like Chart, the word 'reparations' carries with it the stigma of African-American reparations. An entirely different context, sure - but one that gets the right wing attack machine frothing at the mouth at it's mere mention. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

Like her masters, Chart knows that pandering to the conservative's base is the name of this nasty little game. The underlying assumption (one that certainly isn't limited to merit class pwogs) is that the American people are too pig-fucking-ignorant to discern what 'reparations' means in the context of climate change as opposed to 'reparations' for slavery. These intellectual inferiors must be mushroomized by their betters for their own good.

Instead, the brilliant pwogwessive solution is to change the word to something else. Something more benign and friendly like "climate debt" or "historical pollution atonement" or some such shit. That'll make it easier for their God-Emperor to institute his 11th dimensional chess strategy and get the big polluters to cough up enough dough to avoid the worst of the drought sure to strike Africa and maybe keep a few hundred thousand Pacific islanders from losing everything they own.

A simple review of the Obama administration's actions at Copenhagen reveals just how much they care about the effects of our pollution on other countries. (To sum it up for you, the official position is, in technical language, "We Don't Give A Fuck.") But delusional pwogs like Chart have convinced themselves that God-Emperor Obama really really-and-for-truly secretly want to help, but he's prevented because he can't use the word 'reparations' in his world-healing speeches. And it's all because those dirty greenie hippies like Klein just don't understand!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'm an old pwog hand...

As hopey changey hope for their Public Option Brand toy evaporates like a puddle of piss on a hot day, pwogs are naturally looking for a scapegoat. Fortunately, a ready made target is being provided by our pwoggie bloggie superstars in the shape of Joe Lieberman (I-Israel). Thus the pwog blogs are uniformly awash in a Joe hatin' frenzy the likes of which their freeper cousins usually reserve for Hollywood celebutards.

But that shit is utterly fucking predictable and therefore boring. Let's see if there's anything else our Fauxgressive Superfriends have to say:

No, please, after you...

Alas, A Pwog - "All of us realists know that this is the best health care bill ever passed in the whole wide world and if you don't believe that then you're a sociopathic monster!"

Balk the Left - "The only people who oppose this legislation are sociopathic monst-uh, wait, did someone cover this already?"

Diggly-Wiggly - "I'm a little disappointed in my boyfriend, but, IT'S ALL CONGRESS' FAULT!"

Gesundheit - "Tom Friedman is a sociopathic monster!"

NewsPwoggers - "We think whatever Keith Olberman thinks."

Obot Left - "Our maximum leadership on GLBT rights has produced mighty incremental victories on all fronts, and it's all thanks to me and the elite pwogwessive democrats of progressivism. You may bow before us now."

Pandadroppings - "Some county commissioner somewhere said the word "homo!"

Pwogman - "How DARE you oppose God-Emperor Obama! This is all your own fault, you ungrateful bunch of hippies!"

Shake-A-Puddin - "The rape culture spouse abuseres at Time didn't make teh wonderful and awsum Hillary Clinton "Person of the Year." Teh outrage!!!!!eleventy!!!!"

Grampa - "My asthma meds...the Netherlands...zzzzzzzz."

Lamey - "Motherfucking Bernie Sanders is the best motherfucking democrat in motherfucking history! Motherfuck! Buy my CD!"

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Music Video Saturday

This one goes out to Big 'Tard, Diggly-Wiggly and especially the crew at NewsPwoggers who mouth antiwar platitudes while at the same time support warmongering corporate fuckbots. Fuck the lot of you. Burn in Hell.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Ihre Papieren, Bitte.

Should it really be any surprise that technocratic merit-school demotards like John Ballard over at NewsPwoggers is so gung-ho over the REAL ID act? How could anyone oppose such a popular idea? Like Gaul, his argument for this intrusive piece of trash legislation is divided into three parts:

1 - Since the average republican wingnut hates the idea, there must be some merit to it. Anyone who would think otherwise is just a militia-joining survivalist luddite! So there!

2 - Europeans have national ID cards, so it must be a good idea! After all, they have national health care, Euro Disney and David Hasselhoff. What could go wrong?

3 - We've already given away what few civil liberties we ever had for a handful of shiny beads. So what's one more infringement? Huh? Answer that one, ya Glen Beck-worshiping birther!

But there's more to this lack of national identification papers than it's being "a national disgrace." (Yes, he actually writes that. I couldn't make that up.) No, the problem is much deeper than that. It's a matter of identity!

You see, without a national ID card, we have "...no uniform way to identify who we are." Yes, we are bereft of identity without a national, biometric ID card with a retina scan and up-to-the-second bank account information. How could you possibly know who you are when you don't have a document? How do any of us know who we are? Oh! The existential dilemma!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Health Insurance Hissy Fits.

It seems the latest news of the health insurance disaster worming it's way through Congress hasn't fully sunk in to the febrile brains of our elite pwoggie-bloggies quite yet. The crew at Diggly Wiggly, fer instance, appears oblivious (or perhaps just stunned) while Chris BowWow is busy throwing an epic tantrum because some injudicious knave had the temerity to point out that the Obot Left crew are a bunch of ineffectual, pandering little toady-wannabes. Maybe he should build himself a Fortress of Pwogitude like Pwogman!

But a couple of the pwoggie blogs have noticed this new wart on the ugly face of Obama's health insurance give away. Big 'Tard Democrat, a truly heroic know-nothing of the new left, has his usual weasel-word post up on the matter, though it seems less enthusiastic than his usual mindless cheerleading. Is The Big 'Tard losing his taste for Obot Brand Kool-Aid?

Shakey included a link to the story in a "healthcare" roundup posted below her smirking mug, but since the post doesn't contain cat pictures or obscure '80s nostalgia, few Shake-A-Puddin' cultists have noticed. Having her posts draw so few adoring responses is sure to bruise our Bloggin' Queen's delicate sensibilites and an "I Get Letters" style post demanding sympathy and validation is sure to follow. Get with it, Shakies!

(Update: Every pwogs fave-rave sellout BowWow weighs in with one of those faux-gritty not-really-telling-it-like-it-is posts he specializes in. Ya know, as often as he gets kicked by his DP masters, BowWow always returns to beg for those crumbs of recognition and access that keep his little pwoggie blog afloat. Isn't that marvelous?)

(Update: Is is possible that cognitive dissonance has driven BowWow bipolar? First he's throwing a passive-aggressive style tantrum, then he's all happy-dippy-dappy. Has trying to put a happy face on his democrat master's fuckery finally driven BowWow over the brink? Stay tuned!)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Empty Threat Wednesday

With the God-Emperor's announcement of more troops for the Afghanistan meatgrinder, there's many a twist in many pwoggie panties these days. Despite having abso-tootly-ootly zero credibility when it comes to challenging their democratic party masters, such stalwart pwogs as Diggly-Wiggly regular tristero and Newspwogger Ron Beasley are threatening to boycott their local warmongering representatives in the 2010 up-and-coming.

Of course, such threats aren't to be taken seriously. There's still about a year for them to come up with excuses (or just totally forget they ever made the threat) before the rubber hits the road. "Words Over Actions" is, as we all know, the unofficial motto of pwoggie bloggie "activism." Anyroad, that should be plenty of time for demotard asshats like Chris BowWow and Pwogman! to mollify the recalcitrant jellyfish with hopey-changey brand rationalization for getting out to the polls and sending Senator BloodnGuts (D-Military/Industrial Complex) back to ramp up another slaughter from the safety of their plush DC offices.

With pwoggie capitulation as a forgone conclusion, the only real suspense to be found in this turgid little Z-Grade flick is - what will be the absurd rationalizations that will bring our revolting pwogs back into line? Will it be the standard appeals to lesser-evilism and crackpot realism with a side of sneer? Or will our mealy mouthed pwoggie apologists get creative? Personally, I can't wait to find out. Really. Can't, uh, wait.