Friday, July 17, 2009

Captain Obvious to the rescue!

Startling news flashed across the pwoggiesphere this morning when it was discovered that lobbyists actually charge actual money to corporations for their actual services! Pwoggies took a brief break from obsessing over the forgone conclusion that is the Sotomayor hearings to reveal to their lobotomized DP followers that the American Conservative Union (essentially lobbyists disguised as a think tank) offered to do the capitol hill bribe work for FedEx but wound up working for UPS instead. WOW! WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT???

Now, you and I know that it takes Gomer-like levels of naivete to be even mildly surprised at Washington corruption. And yet the Newspwoggers and the munchkins over at The Fortress of Pwogitude are shocked, yes - shocked, to find pay-for-play going on!

Dear Readers, what ever you do, don't tell them that professional wrestling is fixed. I'd hate to see a grown pwogwessive cry.

(Update: For a bunch of oblivious pundit-wannabes who fling the word "pure" like an insult, check out the pwoggie comments at FoP. Hi-larious!)

(Update 2 - Back in Action: The chorus of pwoggie indignation rises as the political castrato of Brain Fell Out joins in.)


  1. Y'know what else?

    On all those cool TV cooking shows, the finished dish is prepared in advance. I mean, it's prepared hours before they even start filming the show and doing the "in-progress" cooking.

    Yeah, I know. Somebody finally told me yesterday and I'm still recovering. :/

    -- ms_xeno

  2. Say it ain't so, Ms. X! Jeez, the next thing ya know, you'll be telling me that Liberace was gay or something.

  3. You think that's bad? I keep hearing the same rumors about Barry Manilow. [sob]

    -- ms_xeno

  4. Yes! Barry! What's more, he refuses to produce his birth certificate.

    No, wait...

    I get all these cranks mixed up sometimes. It's really hard to tell, anymore, where the pwoggie leaves off and the wingnut begins.

    I'm not blaming Smithee's posts for my confusion. It's hardly his fault that squirrels run around in all of their heads.

  5. If I were Faith Popcorn (and I'm not) I'd predict that in the near future a political pwoggie/freeper fusion will take place. It'll unite the squirrels and create one great amorphous blob of wingnuttery which will absorb every crackpot on teh intertubes.

    Fear the future! Fear it!

  6. "...It'll unite the squirrels and create one great amorphous blob of wingnuttery which will absorb every crackpot on teh intertubes."

    [cues "Battle Hymn of the Republic"]

    [wipes away tear]

    -- ms_xeno