Thursday, May 20, 2010

Pwoggie Fatwa II - Pwogs On Patrol!

Extreeeeeme Wibberal (last known photo)

Extreeeeeeme has had this particular burr under his bonnet for awhile, but now his lip-frothing rage has finally exploded all over his blog Scanners-style. Witness, then, Extreeeeeme's First Fatwa:

"I think it is incumbent upon us true progressives (I’m a liberal, damn it) to drive these posers from our party. There is nothing worse than someone who claims to be on your team but wants everything done the way they want it done – or else. These assholes are doing nothing but helping Republicans take control of our government again..."

Who are the dastardly infidels who are must be purged from the Holy and Apostolic Demotard Party's big giant circus tent? Who are the criminal terrorists who DARE make demands of God-Emperor Magic Sparkle Pony I?

It's the pwoggie bloggie law firm of Uygur, Hamsher and Greenwald. They're the worst!

"But..." I hear you object. "What about McKay, Newman and Probert? Aren't they worse?

NO you fool! There's nothing worse!

"Surely Bush, Cheney and Rumfeld are worse."

Mere jaywalkers compared to the devilish Gang of Three!

"Well, how about Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo?"

Nonsense! The Axis powers never threatened anything near as important as Our President-For-Life Barack Jesus Ghandi Aquinas Mother Theresa Gautama Skywalker Obama the One!

Clearly, Extreeeeeme has never seen The Jonas Brothers. But then he's been a shut-in since retiring from his job managing The Acme Buggy Whip Factory, so we really have to give him a pass on that one.

(Update: For an extra dose of arm flailing pwoggie outrage, check out Kay In Maine, Extreeeeeme's very own amen chorus, in the comments section. Hi-larious!)


  1. I particularly like the claim from the Al Giordano piece that Hamsher and Greenwald merely "resent Obama and all the rest of us that have actually done that work and won political battles because they keep failing at it."

    I guess being a party-line Democrat let's you experience the sensation of "winning" come election time, but -- given the expansion of the war on terror and the 2 million people in US prisons -- what exactly have they really "won"?

  2. anyone who knows the NFL spells it downfield, without hyphen

    *pumps fist in the air to celebrate mega ice-burn on Uygur*

  3. Unreal gods and uncaring fates, I hope Extreme's faction gets its way. I hope they dump the civil libertarians, lefties and closet reds - leaving them only with "creatives," technocrats, liberal capitalist feminists and war democrats.

    I sincerely beg the gods I don't believe in to authorize a Democratic purge of leftists. Please, Cthulhu, please.

  4. Truly, Extreeeeeme is the pwoggiest pwog that ever pwogged a pwog. Even PwogMan! isn't as pwoggie a Extreeeeme and PwogMan! has a whole Fortress of Pwogitude.

  5. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahhhh.

    God damn, man. This made my day. This goddamn' doorknob is actually happy that Obummer didn't "put the bomb in the air" on healthcare? He's actually satisfied that The One didn't go for single-payer or public option?

    D'ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaahhhhh -- oops, damn, I've wet myself. Excuse me...

  6. Oh, and one other thing... why is it that every time I see the phrase "pwoggie fatwa", I keep misreading it as "pwoggie frattoir"?

    Maybe I need to step away from the computer and put on some old zydeco records or something.

  7. So, I'm checking out the Extreeeeeme Obot post in the link, and... waitaminnit...Press The Meat?

    Why, that dirty fargin' corksuckin' bastidge. He stole my parody title. Goddammit, I'm going to find myself a cheap lawyer...

  8. Well, for rage-addicted diaper wearering Obots like Extreeeeeme, putting "bombs in the air" only applies to brown people who have the temerity to be living above our oil.

  9. Too bad for Mr. Extreme Liberal that he can only get one comment after his mighty screed.

  10. He deletes comments he doesn't like or know how to defend...

  11. Blog copping and comment deleting is a feature of typical, nay - stereotypical, pwoggie bloggie cowardice. Like their freeper breathren, they're literally afraid of everything. Even mean comments on their blogs send them scurrying for cover. Sad, really.

  12. No shit, Alan. Well damned said. If they bleat about injustice, and then censor their critics, I can pretty much bet the boat, the farm and the chilluns that they're Liberals.

  13. It's a good thing this blog exists, because I've never been good at remembering which Dems are the "good ones" in Blogland and which ones are Teh Evol Traitors.

    If we got the purge that Crow is praying for, I'm not even sure those in charge of the purge would be able to keep track, either. Hopefully there's somebody responsible holding the cheat sheet.

  14. Alan I wish I had your job. Being a pwog hand virtually guarantee's one a life of luxury, since the pwogs are more than happy to shepard themselves to the pen.

  15. Re: augustus818 @ 12:36pm

    Good point, it's high time Alan got a real job like the rest of us!

  16. What I really liked when I followed the link to the Xtreme Liberal's page was the side graphic showing Obama with a beatific facial expression smiling down upon his worshipping followers.

    He Is the One!


  17. "Hopefully there's somebody responsible holding the cheat sheet"

    I blew cheetohs all over my keyboard when I read that. Now that's a good one.

    Yes yes... someone responsible. Where or where could that someone be?

    I finally got him to take my bait and is doing a really hilarious job of defending Obama:

  19. "...I blew cheetohs all over my keyboard when I read that. Now that's a good one..."

    Drunk Pundit, I implore you to not use the "C" word in public anymore. With the Anti-Fat Brigades roaming freely everywhere on the internets, it's simply unwise.

  20. Teh-fucking-awesome, fwoan. I love the part where he accuses you of being a racist. That's just hilarous!