Thursday, December 10, 2009

Ihre Papieren, Bitte.

Should it really be any surprise that technocratic merit-school demotards like John Ballard over at NewsPwoggers is so gung-ho over the REAL ID act? How could anyone oppose such a popular idea? Like Gaul, his argument for this intrusive piece of trash legislation is divided into three parts:

1 - Since the average republican wingnut hates the idea, there must be some merit to it. Anyone who would think otherwise is just a militia-joining survivalist luddite! So there!

2 - Europeans have national ID cards, so it must be a good idea! After all, they have national health care, Euro Disney and David Hasselhoff. What could go wrong?

3 - We've already given away what few civil liberties we ever had for a handful of shiny beads. So what's one more infringement? Huh? Answer that one, ya Glen Beck-worshiping birther!

But there's more to this lack of national identification papers than it's being "a national disgrace." (Yes, he actually writes that. I couldn't make that up.) No, the problem is much deeper than that. It's a matter of identity!

You see, without a national ID card, we have " uniform way to identify who we are." Yes, we are bereft of identity without a national, biometric ID card with a retina scan and up-to-the-second bank account information. How could you possibly know who you are when you don't have a document? How do any of us know who we are? Oh! The existential dilemma!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. awww, fuggin' typos...


    Clearly, holding such a card is a 100% assurance of non-terrorist status.

    I mean, who would ever imagine America behaving as a terrorist nation, or Americans being terrorism supporters? We don't use torture, we don't bomb indiscriminately, we don't support murderous ethnic-cleansing regimes, and we never use our military in an offensive manner -- it's always pure defense (just check the name, Department of Defense).

    I can't wait until the day I can tell terrorists from non-terrorists by simple possession of a card.

  3. Why, just imagine the terrorist-free utopia in which we'll all live when we're finally given the gift of a national ID card by our masters and betters. At last! Our national nightmare will be over!

  4. I've always suspected I might be some terrorist Manchurian candidate or perhaps a member of an advance raiding party for an alien invasion. I for one would appreciate knowing who I really am before I get a call from the mother ship and it's too late.

  5. My how things change. I distinctly recall pwog outrage over the national "identity" card in the days when it was a Bush proposal. Creeping fascism, they called it.

  6. And just think of the economic stimulus of thousands of card manufactories. It'll be like home mini-distilleries.