Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'm an old pwog hand...

As hopey changey hope for their Public Option Brand toy evaporates like a puddle of piss on a hot day, pwogs are naturally looking for a scapegoat. Fortunately, a ready made target is being provided by our pwoggie bloggie superstars in the shape of Joe Lieberman (I-Israel). Thus the pwog blogs are uniformly awash in a Joe hatin' frenzy the likes of which their freeper cousins usually reserve for Hollywood celebutards.

But that shit is utterly fucking predictable and therefore boring. Let's see if there's anything else our Fauxgressive Superfriends have to say:

No, please, after you...

Alas, A Pwog - "All of us realists know that this is the best health care bill ever passed in the whole wide world and if you don't believe that then you're a sociopathic monster!"

Balk the Left - "The only people who oppose this legislation are sociopathic monst-uh, wait, did someone cover this already?"

Diggly-Wiggly - "I'm a little disappointed in my boyfriend, but, IT'S ALL CONGRESS' FAULT!"

Gesundheit - "Tom Friedman is a sociopathic monster!"

NewsPwoggers - "We think whatever Keith Olberman thinks."

Obot Left - "Our maximum leadership on GLBT rights has produced mighty incremental victories on all fronts, and it's all thanks to me and the elite pwogwessive democrats of progressivism. You may bow before us now."

Pandadroppings - "Some county commissioner somewhere said the word "homo!"

Pwogman - "How DARE you oppose God-Emperor Obama! This is all your own fault, you ungrateful bunch of hippies!"

Shake-A-Puddin - "The rape culture spouse abuseres at Time didn't make teh wonderful and awsum Hillary Clinton "Person of the Year." Teh outrage!!!!!eleventy!!!!"

Grampa - "My asthma meds...the Netherlands...zzzzzzzz."

Lamey - "Motherfucking Bernie Sanders is the best motherfucking democrat in motherfucking history! Motherfuck! Buy my CD!"


  1. They still have a chance to snatch eternal disgrace from the jaws of humiliation. The moderate Democrats have seen the wisdom of forbidding any funds that could remotely or plausibly be claimed to be used towards the termination of pregnancy, with the exception of terminated pregnancies that occur as the side effect of liberating people whose dictators are no longer useful.

  2. Sounds reasonable to me. After all, we can't let the corrupt be the enemy of the nefarious.

  3. Actually, I can sum up that whole fistful of summary quotes in one simple declaration:

    "We want what we don't want!"

    You can thank me later.

    (Oh, btw, Smithee, what's with the two posts within a week illustrated with silly closeups of cows? Were you frightened by a Pink Floyd album cover back in college or something?)

  4. Yeah, I'd say that sums it up pretty well, Mike. The cow thing, though I was a great fan of Floyd back in the day, is more of a westerny motif. But that does remind me of a song off the Animals album that describes many of our pwoggie princes in a 'haha, charade they are' sort of way.

  5. I've been grovelling in Warehouse-land again for a couple of weeks, stuffing shiny X-mas packages with ugly, shoddy, overpriced sportswear. It's good to see that I haven't missed much. :/

  6. I'm afraid you haven't, Ms X. Ugly, shoddy, overprieced sports? Did Canada hire you for the Vancouver olympics?

  7. So, has anybody here been following Howard "The Duck" Dean's ball-busting of this bill? I first caught wind of it a few days ago, on my daily visit to the Drudge Report (I look at Drudge for the cheap laffs, honest), and I thought Holy shit! I never thought I'd see this! ...and next thing I know, there's a "progressive" revolt in Congress -- at least inasmuch as Pwogwessives can revolt. It just amuses the hell out of me to see how little it takes to make Obama, Reid and Pelosi shit themselves.

    So, Dean finally manages to grow something resembling a pair and say "this bill is shit, don't vote for it", and next thing I know, it looks like the whole damn thing's about to crash and burn -- hoorah! -- because of a bunch of pissed-off pwogwessives, of all people, and the next thing I know, I'm reading reports of murmurings of a "Draft Dean" campaign for '12, and I'm thinking waitaminnit, man; I was just shittin' around when I did that "2012 Disaster" cartoon!

    Mind you, the bitter old cynic in me says that ultimately, a "movement" to draft Dean for a primary challenge would only be for the purpose of wasting the time and energy that Pwogwessives could be using to find a real alternative, but, still... even inasmuch as I think "elections" in this country don't make a goddamn' bit of difference, the thought of seeing Barack "Timberlake" Obama kneecapped in the '12 Donkeycratic primaries is a thought so delicious that I'm afraid to think it. Hell, it'd be worth it just to see Kool-Aid Drinkers In Chief Maya Angelou and Alice Walker -- authors of the love letters to Obama that busted my Smarmometer -- have a massive brown panties moment.

  8. I think your 2012 Disaster cartoon is still perfectly valid. Dean provides a useful distraction from the on-going crimes of the Obama administration, but he's little more than a rallying figure to keep the pwoggie jellyfish in the party and in line. There's more talk of drafting Hillary for 2012 than there is of drafting Dean.

    Pwogs enjoy characterizing themselves as the "loyal opposition" to the "conservadems" and play on-line games pretending they have influence in the party. But it doesn't take a Kreskin to predict that by 2012 they won't even remember what the "public option" was. Figureheads like Dean will make a few nice speeches, throw his support to Obama or whatever corporate owned asshole is chosen to replace him, and the pwog faithful will troop out to the polls like always.

  9. Uckin fay, Mr Smithee. This was a chuckler!

  10. As to Doktorr Dean... I just reminisce fondly about how he got disaffected people united for MoveOn! and then turned around and (1) accepted the chair for leadership of the very entity he wsa criticizing; and (2) with Markos Zuniga, caused over a million dollars to "disappear" from MoveOn!'s coffers.


  11. I'm sure they spent the MoveOn swag on toys for orphans and food for starving climate refugees. (Whatever was left after the hookers and blow, that is.)

  12. Did Canada hire you for the Vancouver Olympics?

    You dream too much, Mr. Smithee. :/

  13. Oh, and Amp is greasing the skids for more Ralph-baiting, I see. I think I'll forget my pressing Xmas shopping and just headdesk for a couple of hours instead, weeping one more time over the countless years and oceans of type I wasted on Prog blogs.

    Maybe we can turn "Fecke" into new slang for some suitably repulsive biological substance. Toenail fungus, perhaps.

  14. Fecke is hilarious! You know the fauxgressives are desperate when they start ThanksRalphing all over their blogs. It's like late stage Jacob-Kreutzfelt disease on the pwoggie blogs these days.

    But "Fecke" sounds more verb-ish to me. The definition of 'To Fecke' would be like, say, 'To projectile vomit in a fit of apoplexy.' or something like that.

    Look out! He's going to Fecke!

  15. It does sound verb-ish, Makes a great onomatopoeia too, if we assign Smithee's definition to it. Maybe they'll inhale when they fecke, and choke on it. That would at least stop the ThanksRalphing tantrums. I have the audacity to hope this comes true. Change I can believe in!

    As for their miserable piece of shit health insurance scheme, I give it a year before the poorest and sickest of the coercively insured are "granted" an exemption from their mandates. They'll be kicked to the curb. Everyone else will see their premiums keep rising. While that's going on, the more brain dead pwogs (I know, I know) will keep insisting that the nominal expansion of insurance coverage is the same as expanded health care.

  16. Well, at least Jacob-Kreutzfelt goes well with all the bovine imagery, eh?

    Should we call for a vote on the suitable meaning of "Fecke"? While both these proposals are promising, I'm still leaning towards something a bit less dynamic. Maybe a new variety of plantar wart or some less painful form of the shingles. So many possibilities...

    The Connecticut Greens are now trying to get Nader to run against Chris Dodd. While I doubt that anything will come of it, perhaps a few Feckes will stumble on the petition after a hard day of obsessing about Sarah Palin and end up giving themselves fatal aneurysms.

    Forget the ski trip to Vail, the new Pradas, the diamond tennis bracelet. That's all I want for Xmas.

  17. Palin is pretty shrewd. She's managed to leverage the pwogs' cranky, crackpot meritocratic contempt into quite a bit of money. She pushes a button, they projectile vomit in outrage and the cash rolls in. She has the advantage of being hated by people so loathsome that spiting them is worth the price of her books and lectures. Just about none of them know or care what she really believes. The chance to spite pwogs is too good to pass up.

  18. I find myself indifferent to what I've seen of her shtick. Conservatives are hypocrites who like saying stupid things and salmon have scales and water is wet. Is there really something there down deep that we haven't seen play out in the media spotlight ten billion times before? Is it just the show(wo)man's costuming that's different? Coulter doesn't wear glasses but Palin does and that makes the whole thing unique and new somehow? Maybe it's work-related fatigue talking, but I just don't get it.

    Yesterday, I got a stern lecture from some feminist bloggers that Hillary would never have foisted this healthcare bullshit on us. And that my skepticism on this front means that I am an Obama-hugger who Just Doesn't Understand Teh Glory That Would Have Been President Hillary. Honestly, some days it just seems like more trouble than it's worth to state a belief in anything laudatory at all. As soon as you do, up pops some stripe of Democrat or another to assure you that, yes, they have the 999-year patent on every movement, every social belief, every philosophy even remotely laudatory and since you brought it up, they now own your ass. They have always owned your ass. They always will. In fact, after you die, they get it pickled in a jar or cremated in an antiqued urn, depending on their whim that day.

    This shit seldom fails to drive me straight up the fucking wall.

  19. You're right about Palin. There's nothing new. The amount of heat and noise from the schtick corresponds to the ease with which it, and the reactions to it, can be transmitted. I'm a little surprised that Democrats won't, for a minute, entertain the thought that there's something about them that feeds into the success of the conservative freak show. But you're right about that too. That's not new either. One cannot expect anything else from people whose political engagement consists of competitive intramural wonkery in a fantasy role playing campaign simulation game.

    When I look back over the years, there's a bit more space than there used to be for taking advantage of the spectacular solipsism of their mutual freak show, and a bit more interest in helping Feckes achieve their tribal aneurysms. This remains tiny, fragile and inchoate, but it's worth hanging on to.

  20. As a footnote, the Dems sneer and snap at the tiny percentage of utterly unreasonable, intractable, uncooperative "ideologues" and blame them for the larger percentage of disillusioned, indifferent people. It would be grandiose to take credit for the disillusionment. It is after all a perfectly normal, socially healthy response to the freak show. And it makes life a lot easier. If the intractables ever get their shit together on a larger scale, all they have to do as community research is listen to the disillusioned.

  21. I can put forth a reasonable basis for the scalding, scathing, excoriating of Sarah Palin.

    Lib-pwog "leftists" imagine themselves somehow sublimely superior to the unwashed, uneducated, uninformed, immoral and unethical OTHERS who are not lib-pwog "leftists."

    What L-Ps feel especially superior toward is Trailer Trash, a/k/a Poor White Trash, a/k/a lower-middle class White People.

    Sarah Palin had a pregnant teen daughter, Palin's own blue vocabulary and talking points betray an apparent working class origins, Palin knows how to shoot a gun... these things are all Trailer Trash ideas/themes.

    And we all know how humans love to find a way to be superior to other humans. L-Ps love hating on the lower end of the American socioeconomic ladder, especially when the low-runged citizens are White and vote Republican. Supposedly White Trash Republicans vote Republican because they're "stupid," which means that L-Ps are NOT "stupid" because they don't vote Republican and they're not living the "lifetstyle" of a Trailer Trash person.

    And then there's the female thing. You know, that it's Sarah Palin and not Stephen Palin.

  22. Mr. Oxtrot, I'd love to write a whole essay-length post about the two-sided (or is it multi-sided) snobbery over whose "stuff" is best and how it overlaps and/or mutates into "the culture wars" and so on. But I lack both time and wherewithall, at least for now. I dedicate my current post on LJ to you and the other bad, bad people in this thread, though. Since IPR kind of did the heavy lifting for me. Happy Holidays.

  23. ms_x, I thank you for that holiday gift!