Thursday, September 3, 2009

Let's Make A Newlywed Feud

As God-Emperor Obama ramps up the carnage in Afghanistan and our embassy in Kabul turns into Col. Kurtz's camp from Apocalypse Now, lets check in on the mighty, mighty, oh-so mighty forces of the pwogwessive punditry...oh, fuck it. Let's skip that for now and have some fun. Lessee, what do other blogs do for easy cheesy blog filler? Hmmm... How about the bloggie version of Bloopers & Practical Jokes? Something like:

The First Annual DGH "Dumbest Comment On A Thursday" Contest

Vote in the comments for your favorite contestant. The winner will receive a "Dumbest Comment" trophy made of genuine cubic zirconium, a copy of the home game, a full set of Random House encyclopedias, a set of cocktail coasters from Dicker & Dicker of Beverly Hills, a box of buffalo steaks and whatever is in the box beside which Carol Merrill is standing. And now, let's meet our newlyweds!

  • Contestant #1 - "Berry self-IDs as black, as far as I know. But although she’s got an Oscar, I’m not sure she’s A-list." (WTF?!? Exactly in what universe does this person live, in which Halle Berry is a white b-list actress? I mean, Halle Freakin' Berry!)
  • Contestant #2 - "More and more I am convinced the opinions of Senators and Representatives are irrelevant. What matters is the weight of real public opinion, and the point where public consensus is finally reached." (Did the meek suddenly inherit the Earth when I wasn't paying attention?)
  • Contestant #3 - "I know there is still in him (Obama - Ed.) a giant plush community organizer letting people make mistakes, but we elected the President of the United States. (This just might be the most incoherent thing any Obot has ever written on teh intarwebs. Srsly.)


  1. Unfair. You weighted the choices.

    Nevertheless, seeing how you opened with the topic of Apocalypse Now, it seems we should rate idiots according to what drug(s) we think they might be using. Since our troops/mercenaries are increasingly admitted on character waivers, my suggestion is that we include checkoff boxes for meth, ecstasy, crack, and heroin for starters.

  2. Well, Contestant #1 is probably doin' 'shrooms of some kind. I mean, Halle Freakin' Berry! #2 is clearly on LSD and probably does a little weed on the side. And I suspect #3 has been doing whippets since 1983. But that's just a guess.

  3. Incidentally, any of my periodic absences from Blogland should always be attributed to a temporary dearth of drugs and/or alcohol. Just to set the record straight.

    -- ms_xeno

  4. I hear ya, Ms. X. I wouldn't go anywhere near Obot Left without a nice stiff shot of heroin.