Back in the Saddle Agin...

(Video courtesy of MediaGhost)

That the small group of bloggers we mock here at DFH are a feckless bunch of couch-wanking turds whose only interest is to see their "team" win "the big game" (like politics is a fucking college football game) is pretty much self evident. But, really, you don't particularly need me to show you this bunch of self-congratulating circle-jerkers are the ass-end of the demotard party.

Keeping that in mind, lets see what our klubhouse kids reported about the G-20 protests in Pittsburgh last week. You may have heard about them. They're the ones where protesters and students were gassed, clubbed, shot with rubber bullets and disappeared for the dastardly crime of marching without a permit.

Alas, a Pwog - Nothing

Balk the Left - Zip

Diggly - A single article on the use of the LRAD and that's only so she could make a shitty pun.

Gesundheit - Nada.

NewsPwogs - Wins the Douchebags of the Year Award for actually criticizing the protesters being gassed, bludgeoned, shot, etc. Fuck these guys sideways. Srsly.

Obot Left - A single article written only so they could link to Diggly's shitty pun.

Pandadroppings - Nothing.

Pwogman - Zero.

Shake-A-Puddin - Nil.

Grampa - Whut? Wuzzat? {Snore}

Lamey - Fuckity Fuckity GlenBeckFuck! Listen to me on Stephanie Miller!

Why do these Imperial crimes go unreported on the pwoggie blogs? Sure, they're democrats, so they're by definition good citizens of the Empire. But is that really the reason? I'm not sure.

Maybe it's because nothing ever really touches this mealy-mouthed soft-fingered cringing bunch of suburban mandarins. They don't give a shit about health care reform because if they did they'd be fighting tooth-and-nail for single payer. No, the only reason the care at all is because they were promised a "public option"- an all-but-useless agglomeration of half-reforms and band-aids. Now that it looks like they might not get even that, they're kicking and screaming and pitching a tantrum like toddlers who've had their collective lollypop yanked away.

In the end, well, look at it this way - the Empire had to deploy 4000+ cops to deter the Sept 24th protesters. How many riot cops do you think they'd need to deter the mighty forces of the intarweb pwogwessives. (Hint: you can deduce the answer by examining the above list.)

Get The Fuck Over It!

There's nothing more exasperating than a pwogwessive with hurt feelings. Witness the constant, unending whining of BMB Bink, a regular at Obot Left, whose concern trolling over the National Equality March would make a saint want to slap Adam's pissy little face with a cestus.

His continued jihad against Cleve Jones (a "Random Gay Activist" apparently) and really anyone not under the thumb of his little cadre of elite DNC gays, has become more teeth-grindingly annoying than a roomful of Andy Dick clones. Go read Adam's passive-aggressive masterwhine if you dare. I can't bring myself to even quote that piece of shit.

(Update: On the other hand, let's go with Adam's oh-so-strategic plan and wait for our masters and betters to throw us a dime from their limo. With friends like this, I'm sure it'll only take thirty or forty years.)

G-20 Sided Dice

You are cordially not invited...

The natives must be restless. Paul Rosenberg, one of the careerist democratic party apparatchik wannabes over at Obot Left, has penned a mighty defense of our corrupt "two party" electoral system. What it breaks down to, of course, is the usual hippie punching, rose garden promising and condescending crackpot realism that issues every now and then from fauxgressive bloggers worried about their invite to next years DP sponsored Nutroots Nation event.

Certainly Paul would want us to quit working on IRV, have all the people we've gotten on school boards and city councils quit, and disband entirely to make room for his oh-so-progressive merit school time servers. But I won't bore you with a take down of this mealy-mouthed inanity, especially since commenters here and here already did it for me. Instead, let me extend an anti-invitation on the behalf of all social and political movements in the US to Rosenberg and the rest of his do-nothing demotard friends.

Paul, Adam, Chris, et al. Please. STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

Thank you.

(Update: "Useful idiots! Stooges!" While desperately trying to stamp out the flames in his comments section, gatekeeper-wannabe Rosenberg loses it completely, spewing a-historical bullshit in ever more frenzied circuits. Hi-larious!)

The Last One

The Last One

Well they'd made up their minds to be everywhere because why not.
Everywhere was theirs because they thought so.
They with two leaves they whom the birds despise.
In the middle of stones they made up their minds.
They started to cut.

Well they cut everything because why not.
Everything was theirs because they thought so.
It fell into its shadows and they took both away.
Some to have some for burning.

Well cutting everything they came to water.
They came to the end of the day there was one left standing.
They would cut it tomorrow they went away.
The night gathered in the last branches.
The shadow of the night gathered in the shadow on the water.
The night and the shadow put on the same head.
And it said Now.

Well in the morning they cut the last one.
Like the others the last one fell into its shadow.
It fell into its shadow on the water.
They took it away its shadow stayed on the water.

Well they shrugged they started trying to get the shadow away.
They cut right to the ground the shadow stayed whole.
They laid boards on it the shadow came out on top.
They shone lights on it the shadow got blacker and clearer.
They exploded the water the shadow rocked.
They built a huge fire on the roots.
They sent up black smoke between the shadow and the sun.
The new shadow flowed without changing the old one.
They shrugged they went away to get stones.

They came back the shadow was growing.
They started setting up stones it was growing.
They looked the other way it went on growing.
They decided they would make a stone out of it.
They took stones to the water they poured them into the shadow.
They poured them in they poured them in the stones vanished.
The shadow was not filled it went on growing.
That was one day.

The next day was just the same it went on growing.
They did all the same things it was just the same.
They decided to take its water from under it.
They took away water they took it away the water went down.
The shadow stayed where it was before.
It went on growing it grew onto the land.
They started to scrape the shadow with machines.
When it touched the machines it stayed on them.
They started to beat the shadow with sticks.
Where it touched the sticks it stayed on them.
They started to beat the shadow with hands.
Where it touched the hands it stayed on them.
That was another day.

Well the next day started about the same it went on growing.
They pushed lights into the shadow.
Where the shadow got onto them they went out.
They began to stomp on the edge it got their feet.
And when it got their feet they fell down.
It got into eyes the eyes went blind.

The ones that fell down it grew over and they vanished.
The ones that went blind and walked into it vanished.
The ones that could see and stood still
It swallowed their shadows.
Then it swallowed them too and they vanished.
Well the others ran.

The ones that were left went away to live if it would let them.
They went as far as they could.
The lucky ones with their shadows.

-from The Lice, copyright 1977 by W. S. Merwin

Shocked! Yes, shocked I tell you!

The wonder-genius pwogwessives of Obot Left have just this moment discovered there just might be a teensy weensy little corruption problem in our nation's capital. They've found one of our finer lobbyists is greasing Madame Pelosi vis health care insurance legislation. Quelle horreur!

The excuse making began almost immediately in the comments. Cries of 'coincidence!' rang out from the demotard faithful, though personally I like the plan to bribe her with scads of pwoggie cash. Or, better yet, we could get the entire Obot Left crew letters of transit and get them the hell out of Casablanca.

Bestest Pwesident Evar.

A round up of pwoggie bloggie reactions to God-Emperor Obama's latest speech on health care insurance dereform, brought to you as a public service by DGH. No, don't thank me. Just doin' my job:

Alas, A Pwog - "Um, no comment."

Balk the Left - "Our Pwogwessive Bwock will make daddy give us our crappy plastic toy!"

Diggly Wiggly - "Hearken to the words with which God-Emperor Obama commandeth thee!"

Gesundheit - "DRINK! DRINK DRINK! (first!)"

NewsPwoggers - "I never expected anything from the guy I voted into office so I wasn't disappointed. It's true! I wasn't! Plus, that absolves me of all responsibility. Plus, society is to blame."

Obot Left - "This is a massive victory for our Pwogwessive Cause of Hope for Change and totally justifies our unconditional worship of God-Emperor Obama. Bow down! Bow down!"

Pandadroppings - "{Gasp!} Some pissant representative heckled Our President! Oooh! I feel faint..."

Pwogman! - "Obama's made a brilliant castling move in his 11th dimensional chess match! But how will it affect Our Party in 2010?"

Shake-A-Puddin - "Obama's speech sucked. Health care is a right, not a privilege." (Hey! Shakey got something right! Pardon me while I scoop my jaw off the floor.)

Grampa - "Whut? Who? You kids git offa mah lawn!"

Lamey - "Motherfucking cockmongering motherfuckers! Buy my CD!"