Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Pwog Riders In The Sky

With the God-Emperor expected to announce an escalation of the Afghanistan Bloodbath any day now, lets check in on our herd of fearless activist truth-to-power tellers and see how they're reacting...

Alas, A Pwog - "We must place the cost of the Afghanistan Bloodbath squarely where it belongs, on the backs of the working poor!"

Balk the Left - "We koswhacks must support our Emperor in his mission to murder Afghanis!"

Gesundheit - "Lookit the wingnut!"

NewsPwoggers - "We predict our Emperor's escalation of the Afghan Bloodbath will piss off both those dirty hippie peaceniks and those bloodthirsty warhawks. (Wow, writing this stuff sure is easy when you don't take sides! Weeeee!)"

Obot Left - "I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I?"

Pandadroppings - "Lookit the wingnut!"

Pwogman! - "Lookit the wingnut!"

Shake-A-Puddin' - "Someone sent me a nasty e-mail, so I'm demanding extra praise today. Plus, off with their heads!"

Lamey - "I'm on this wingnut mailing list and, uh, and, FUCKCOCKSHITBALLSBUYMYCD!!!"


  1. I don't know how you manage to wade through all this crap every week. I appreciate the effort, as it spares me having to look at it, and you have picked a damn good representative sample of the fauxgressive pwogoshphere. You can look at this page and have a pretty good idea in advance where a lot of liberals are going to be coming from on current issues, just like you can watch Fox News and know any wingnut's opinions even before he does.

  2. Thanks, Sean. I had to have my sense of disgust removed just for this project. I keep it in a jar in-between my sense of optimism and Hitler's brain.

    BTW, if you have any candidates for the Pwoggie List of Shame, don't hesitate to nominate 'em. I'm always looking to add to the herd.

  3. That "buy my CD" line never ceases to be amusing.

  4. Who are we to judge the poor Coprolalia Pundit?

    I say kudos to him for making the best of a truly horrific problem. The CP, bless his heart, blogs with the disorder he has. It's not the one he might want or wish to have at a later date. But he's trying, you know? He's trying... and he's found a way to financialize it. I think of his CDs as collateralized dementia obligations, bundled and sold with the full market majesty that capitalism gives to the entrepreneur.

  5. Actually, while we're on the subject of Piss Poor Pwogwessives, check out this op-ed piece we picked up at the DC IMC, written by two women from the Revolutionary Association of Women in Afghanistan, concerning the announced support for the escalation of the war by the Feminist Majority Foundation:


    Why Is a Leading Feminist Organization Lending Its Name to Support Escalation in Afghanistan?

    By Sonali Kolhatkar and Mariam Rawi

    Years ago, following the initial military success of the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan and the temporary fall of the Taliban, the people of Afghanistan were promised that the occupying armies would rebuild the country and improve life for the Afghan people.

    Today, eight years after the U.S. entered Kabul, there are still piles of garbage in the streets. There is no running water. There is only intermittent electricity in the cities, and none in the countryside. Afghans live under the constant threat of military violence.

    The U.S. invasion has been a failure, and increasing the U.S. troop presence will not undo the destruction the war has brought to the daily lives of Afghans.

    As humanitarians and as feminists, it is the welfare of the civilian population in Afghanistan that concerns us most deeply. That is why it was so discouraging to learn that the Feminist Majority Foundation has lent its good name -- and the good name of feminism in general -- to advocate for further troop escalation and war.

    On its foundation Web site, the first stated objective of the Feminist Majority Foundation's "Campaign for Afghan Women and Girls" is to "expand peacekeeping forces."

    First of all, coalition troops are combat forces and are there to fight a war, not to preserve peace. Not even the Pentagon uses that language to describe U.S. forces there. More importantly, the tired claim that one of the chief objectives of the military occupation of Afghanistan is to liberate Afghan women is not only absurd, it is offensive.

    Waging war does not lead to the liberation of women anywhere. Women always disproportionately suffer the effects of war, and to think that women's rights can be won with bullets and bloodshed is a position dangerous in its naïveté. The Feminist Majority should know this instinctively.

    Here are the facts: After the invasion, Americans received reports that newly liberated women had cast off their burquas and gone back to work. Those reports were mythmaking and propaganda. Aside from a small number of women in Kabul, life for Afghan women since the fall of the Taliban has remained the same or become much worse.

    Under the Taliban, women were confined to their homes. They were not allowed to work or attend school. They were poor and without rights. They had no access to clean water or medical care, and they were forced into marriages, often as children.

    Today, women in the vast majority of Afghanistan live in precisely the same conditions, with one notable difference: they are surrounded by war. The conflict outside their doorsteps endangers their lives and those of their families. It does not bring them rights in the household or in public, and it confines them even further to the prison of their own homes. Military escalation is just going to bring more tragedy to the women of Afghanistan.

    In the past few years, some cosmetic changes were made regarding Afghan women. The establishment of a Ministry of Women's Affairs was one celebrated example. In fact, this ministry is so useless many think that it should be dissolved...

    You can read the rest of this article at

    ...and, if you can stomach it, the response from the Feminist Majority Foundation can be read at

  6. This is fucking disgraceful! Eleanor fucking Smeal takes a tour of fucking Kabul, comes back and endorses the fucking Afghan Bloodbath Medea Benjamin-style. Un-FUCKING-believable!

  7. Unbelievable? Nahhh. Not to trivialize what you're feeling, but I've long gotten past the point of responding with "unbelievable!" to stuff like this because I've seen so goddamn' much of it in the past couple of decades, beginning with the Clintonoids, with NOW running interference for him during the Lewinsky scandal, and Human Rights Watch serving as his mouthpiece during the slaughter of Serbia by the US and NATO in '99; HRW had some flack who looked like a 19-year-old intern go on NBC Today to look us in the eye and tell us that what we were doing to Serbia was OK. Then, to top it off, Hillary gives this speech right after the Columbine shootings -- mind you, while US fighters are bombing commuter trains on bridges outside Belgrade -- where she complains about the "culture of violence" in the USA. It was right about that year that I totally broke myself of the habit of responding, "I can't believe it!"

    Nor do have trouble believing -- knowing this crowd as I do from seeing nearly two decades' worth of their performance -- that the likes of Eleanor Smeal would happily climb aboard the Obama Afghanistan FAIL Train, and that she and her acolytes in the HuffPo comment thread would use almost the identical rhetoric about restoring women's rights in Afghanistan that I heard coming from Laura Bush about seven or eight years ago.

    Vile? Appalling? Opportunist? Exploitive? Craven? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Unbelievable? Nahhh. I've learned to expect this kind of behavior from this bunch. Other than the inability to suspend disbelief, yeah; my reaction's been pretty much the same as yours:

    Jesus. H. Motherfucking. Bicycle-Riding. CHRIST.

    See also

  8. The Feminist Majority is an integral part of that brand of feminism whose primary mission is to convince women the greatest obstacle to their success and happiness in life is lying in bed next to them, particularly if the thing in the bed is a white male. Now she insists those same white males who are so deadly they can scarcely be let loose on the streets use their guns and attack helicopters to "liberate" the women of Afghanistan into the hands of their metrosexual, rape-is-ok druglord chieftain.

    Like I always say, you can't make this shit up. Given the voluminous spewage of "men are the enemy" bullshit eminating from the FMF, I would not be surprised to find Smeal on the same CIA payroll as Steinem, and indeed the FMF has links to Ms magazine prominently on their site.

  9. For the Pwoggie List of Shame, why not go after the big dogs, like Huffpo, Salon or DailyKos? Talk about yer controlled opposition.

  10. Echo-chamber sites like DKo$ & Huffpuff are just too easy. It would be like shooting pwogs in an upscale coffee shop. There's no sport in pointing out that Markos is a boring aspirational DNC suckup or Arianna is a millionaire dilletante with a penchant for crackpot religions. That would be the equivalent of the tedious freeper satire SadyNo does.

    I prefer the second and third tier pwoggies, blatent shills like the crew at Obot Left and cultists like Shake-A-Puddin. Fer instance, there's this group of delusional Hillary partisans over at The Confluence I think might have some potential.

  11. Hey, Sean. You can start favoring equal pay any time you want, without slaughtering a single solitary Afghan citizen. Really, it's not that tough.

    Also, you should do something about that snoring. And maybe come to bed in something other than a pair of shorts held together largely by an old shoelace and unwarranted optimism.

  12. I've found I can favor equal rights for women without shooting a single white male, too. And I'm a crack shot.

    As for our snoring? Good God, woman, wear a pair of earplugs already. Snoring is God's own way of letting you know we're still alive. It's like asking babies to stop crying, or something. It's when we stop snoring that you have to worry.

    Who needs shoelaces to hold your shorts up when you have a beer belly that works just fine?

  13. Earplugs are for people who play guitars and/or work with power tools all day. Can't you just get our god emperor to buy you a damn CPAP machine already?

    So, you're okay with shooting married White males? What if they're divorced or widowed, or just in the midst of trial separation? Do they get a special badge in that case?

  14. Even though I'm one of his most rabid pwoggie supporters, the God-Emperor has asked me to just give him a chance, and I'll eventually get my CPAP and a free parking space in what's left of Iran. He says he has his hands full rescuing the bankster underclass from the shackles of economic repression they have been slaving under, and of course I believe him. Would you rather I vote Republican?

    As a good pwoggie, I fully recognize that all white males are the enemy, regardless of marital status...especially working class ones. Although their mass execution is not necessary for wymyn's emancipation, it would certainly help, and they make great target practice.

  15. As long as there is a penis attached to a human being that lives and breathes, the Democrats are oppressed.

    This is the word of the Wytch.

  16. Get back to me when you've figured out that there's such a thing as working-class women, Sean. :/

  17. Get back to me when the FMF figures out there's such a thing as working-class women, Xeno.

  18. Dude, I don't do the go-between thing anymore. Hell, after the whole fake Obama-vs.-Clinton-II dust-up, it's not even worth my energy to call myself a feminist anymore. Or any kind of "-ist," really. If people want to know my beliefs that badly, I guess they'll just have to work up their own quiz and offer me five dollars to fill it out. Or maybe just a couple of beers. I'm not proud.

  19. I'm not interested in pinning labels on people, Xeno. They tend not to stick without really good adhesives and a lot of imagination. I don't know what's going through yer head other than electrons. All I ask is the same consideration.