Monday, November 30, 2009

Half Right / Half Stupid

The World According to Big 'Tard Democrat
(Summed up in pictures, as a public service, by DGH.)


"Okay"


"Not Okay."

Pwoggies are funny in a teeth-grinding kind of way. I'm referring to their penchant for combining two different statements, one right and one astonishingly fucking wrong, in a single innocent paragraph. It's the pwoggie bloggie equivalent of covering a bad idea with a good idea, like plague-infected rat brains covered in chocolate, and hoping nobody notices.

And speaking of plague-infected rats, our latest example of this trend comes from the repulsive Big 'Tard Democrat, (the lowest wattage bulb on the Townhouse listserv) who tries to leaven his shitty chickenhawk warmongering with a little obvious social criticism:

"I support the President's policy in Afghaistan. I did not support the Nobel Committee's idiotic granting of its award to President Obama."
Just this once, believe it or not, I am forced to agree with Big 'Tard Democrat. Blowing Afghani women and children apart with hellfire missiles is probably bad form for a Nobel Peace Prize winner. But, unlike Big 'Tard, I'm not in favor of killing them in the first place.

Oh, and FUCK YOU, Big 'Tard. Srsly. Right in the ear.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Pwog Riders In The Sky


With the God-Emperor expected to announce an escalation of the Afghanistan Bloodbath any day now, lets check in on our herd of fearless activist truth-to-power tellers and see how they're reacting...

Alas, A Pwog - "We must place the cost of the Afghanistan Bloodbath squarely where it belongs, on the backs of the working poor!"

Balk the Left - "We koswhacks must support our Emperor in his mission to murder Afghanis!"

Gesundheit - "Lookit the wingnut!"

NewsPwoggers - "We predict our Emperor's escalation of the Afghan Bloodbath will piss off both those dirty hippie peaceniks and those bloodthirsty warhawks. (Wow, writing this stuff sure is easy when you don't take sides! Weeeee!)"

Obot Left - "I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I?"

Pandadroppings - "Lookit the wingnut!"

Pwogman! - "Lookit the wingnut!"

Shake-A-Puddin' - "Someone sent me a nasty e-mail, so I'm demanding extra praise today. Plus, off with their heads!"

Lamey - "I'm on this wingnut mailing list and, uh, and, FUCKCOCKSHITBALLSBUYMYCD!!!"

Friday, November 20, 2009

Afghanistan Bananastand


Koswhack Big Turd Demotard recently got a crumb from his DP masters in the form of a conference call with Snarlin' Arlen Specter (R/D/Weves - PA) and was dazzled by the veteran scumbag's double-shuffle on Afghanistan.

Senator Specter's position is that he opposes troop increases in Afghanistan and even questions maintaining troops in Afghanistan unless the effort is "indispensable" to the conflict with al Qaida.

Golly! In demotard circles, that almost makes Senator Sphincter a dirty hippie peacenik. Of course, just a cursory inspection of Specter's actual voting record reveals his real chickenhawk feathers. Specter never met a bloody-handed slaughter he didn't like. But real actions made by real people in the real world are generally dismissed by fauxgressive warhumping fucktards like BTD as "cherry picking." With pwoggies, actions mean nothing. Words are everything.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

That's the Pwog Calling the Liberal Cowardly!

Shorter Diggly-Wiggly:
It was those mean republubthuglicklicans that made me call myself a pwogwessive instead of a wibberal. Plus, this CNN poll proves the House health insurance bill is juuuuust right.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Pwog Bites Man!


Chris BowWow, the noisy pwogwessive poodle of the demotard party, is yapping his fuzzy little face off at the those few democratic representatives who would dare deny him his public option chew toy. Amongst those threatened with immediate replacement is Dennis Kucinich (D-Hobbiton), perhaps one of the few d-side representatives actually worthy of support:

"Off-hand, the easiest eight might be Kaptur (Progressive), Murtha (leadership), Boyd (primary challenge), Kissell (threats from donors, doesn't raise money well), Kucinich (Progressive, often faces primary challenges), Massa (Progressive), Murphy (never actually had to win a primary, still might face one) and someone."

Displaying enough gall to divide into three parts, this lackwit of the fauxgressive left states, right after his little hissy-fit hit list, that he himself is not in favor of launching mighty mighty pwogwessive primary campaigns against Kuchinich, et al. Surely not! Oh heavens, no! (But, of course, he couldn't stop anyone from doing so.)

Never mind the public option chew toy is a foul-tasting scrap of Congressional snausage. Nevermind that lameass pwoggie primaries invariably turn to shit. (Who was it that ran against Holy Joe Lieberman? Anybody?) What's really interesting is, because he's occasionally invited to some low-level DP soirees, (thanks to his astonishing ability to raise small amounts of dough from rubes on teh intartubes), BowWow is starting to believe his own press Michael Cimino-style.

And that's the point where his mental illness is our gain. It's one thing to maintain the illusion of clout, but trying to wield it is when the hilarity truly starts.