Diggy Doesn't Dig - Episode #6,192

Shorter Diggly-Wiggly.

'Why in the world isn't there any reaction amongst the punditocracy (to which I desperately aspire) to (credit card industry representative and part-time US Veep Joltin' Joe) Biden going on Snuffalupagus and saying the US would be just fine 'n dandy with Israel bombing the crap out of Iran? It must be part of God-Emperor Obama's Secret Plan or a mistake or something. Oh well, it doesn't really affect me.
Tra-lalalala...'

Your Monday Morning Nerd Report

Shorter Brain Left Out:

'I'm a radical! Well, actually, I'm a merit school technocrat with an over-inflated sense self importance. Watch me misapply an obscure mathematical concept to prove how much smarter we "moderates" are than everyone else on the planet. But I'm not being smug! Losers.'

Go outside!

Why are you sitting around and reading blogs, fercryinoutloud? It's a beautiful day! Go out and enjoy it. Go on, now. Shoo!

Independence Day Greetings From DGH!

This July 4th there's only one thing interrupting the Pwog Blog's ongoing obsession with Sarah "Moose Killer" Palin and that's holiday itself. It's the one not-to-be-missed opportunity during the year for pwogwessives to pull out the red, white and blue stops and wave the flag in frantic semaphore to signal those darn repubthuguglickans: 'Darn it, us pwogs are just as patriotic as you freepers. Heck, even more patriotic!'

Why bother? Good question! Basically, pwogwessives have the political equivalent of Short Mans Disease. They're so worried about the size of their foreign policy that they're constantly tugging at it in public, all the while bellowing about how patriotic they are. It's yet another arena where Pwogs are functionally no different than Freepers.

But that's not the only reason. Ya see, pwogs care soooooo very very much about America's reputation in the world that they'll send the very best of American munitions to the children of Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Somalia. Ain't that swell of 'em? Even neocons don't enjoy the rocket's red glare more than your average spineless pwoggie.

And that's why, in honor of the holiday, I'd like to dedicate this picture of a maimed Afghan girl to the Mighty Patriotic Pwogwessive Bloggers of Teh Intarwebs of America:


In additon, I'd like to add my personal wishes for a miserable, mosquito-ridden July 4th celebration to all you Open Lefters, Shakers, Hullabaloo'ers, Pandagonians, Newshoggers and generally every Obot and Demotard everywhere who voted to continue the mauling and murder of innocent people. And I'd also like to express my hope that each and every one of you disconnected, disinterested, sneering, snide, middle class, middle management, middle way, middle-of-the-road, merit school, do-nothing pwogwessives die in a fucking ditch with mouthful of blood after a lengthy and painful mauling by global warming-enraged polar bears. Fuck you all very much. Fuck you very, very, very much.

Don't Give Me That Goodie-Goodie Bullshit

Here's a roundup of all the posts on our pwoggie blog list pertaining to the Israeli government's arrest of peace activists in international waters. No, don't thank me. It's what I'm here for:

Alas, a Pwog - Women and people of color are severely under-represented in the lameass projects of over-privileged white nerds.

Balk the Left - Latest Michael Jackson update! DEA involved! OMG!

Fortress of Pwogitude - Harry Reid better do what I tell him to do or he's history. Pwogman has spoken!

Diggly Wiggly - I strongly suspect that one of the corporations that own our Party lock-stock-and-senators might not have our best interests at heart. When did this happen? Did anyone else know about this? Has Howard Dean been informed?

Gesundheit - Newsflash! Sunday pundit shows are stupid!

Brains Fell Out - DONATE TO OUR LATEST PROJECT! MONEY! NOW!!!

NewsPwoggers - We NewsPwoggers are far smarter and, uh {boots up thesaurus.com} knowledgeable, learned, lettered, literate, than you ignorant peasants. Here's the latest crumb from your masters and betters. Accept it or die, peon.

Pandadroppings - Here's some obscure music videos and a tedious personal anecdote. Tell me how much you love me!

Shake-A-Puddin' - Here's some crappy kiddie TV show from back in dinosaur times. Get all weepy and nostalgic, Shakeys.

The Lame Gimmick Pundit - Ann Coulter is a whore-bitch-cunt! Haha! Boy, that was shocking. I'll bet you're really shocked now. Buy my CD!

It's SuperPwog!

A rare photo of Booman going for a walk.

You have to hand it to Booman. The superhuman amount of cognitive dissonance he carries around in his head every day would kill a mere mortal. Take, for instance, this massively stupid statement:

"Obama has banned torture completely, for example, and he has shut down all the black prisons."

One can only speculate what other delusions occupy Booman's pwoggie-bloggie, happy-dippy-dappy consciousness. It's obviously a wonderous, magical place where happy frou-frou elves skip from door to door delivering candy and ice cream treats. Oh, and Obama's Bagram torture facility doesn't exist there. Personally, I like this choice bit:

"The inmates at Bagram are being kept in "a legal black-hole, without access to lawyers or courts", according to Tina Foster, executive director of the International Justice Network, a legal support group representing four detainees.

She is pursuing legal action that, if successful, would grant detainees at Bagram the same rights as those still being held at Guantanamo Bay.

But the Obama administration is trying to block the move."

Of course, one must remember that irresponisble rightwing media outlets like the BBC and Reuters will print anything to soil God-Emperor Obama's holy and spotless administration. It's a media conspiracy of vast proportions whose only opposition is a tiny band of progressive bloggers on a mission to Save the World with their mutant blogging powers!

Or is that 'X Men?' Fuck if I know. I hate comic books.

(Bonus! Read Madam De'Boorge's little Obot tantrum over Helen Thomas' outrageous effrontery in daring to question the Wisdom of God-Emperor Obama. Off with her head!)

Really Real Realists

Shorter NewsPwoggers:

You dirty greenie hippies are soooooo naive, unlike us realistic and worldly smartguys who support democrats even though we don't approve of them! But why oh why would anyone find fault with God-Emperor Obama's Cap'n Trade Plan To Save The World Through Clean Coal and Nukes? It's an insult to right-thinking people everywhere! Anyway, I'm happy with sucking down huge drafts of CO2! Global warming is good for farmers! Radiation is good for your complexion! Sure it is! Prove it isn't!