"We could hire our own midget, even shorter than theirs!"

Just when I might have begun to think that the do-nothing democrats couldn't get any more spineless, along comes Digby's pet jellyfish Tristero to prove me wrong. Somehow, one of his foodie blogs spat up a list of lobbyists, probably culled from The Democrat Forbidden Zone, showing the gi-normous amount of money spent on bribing our elected officials, demotard and republidunce alike. Desperate for a do-nothing rationalization, he slithered back to Diggly-Wiggly and slimed out this choice bit of yellow-assed mealy-mouthed gutlessness:

"They (people in general - ed) think it's normal, natural, but even if it's deplorable, there's nothing to be done to stop it."

Yes, yes, I know that's it's the job of invertibrates like Digby and Tristero to keep their pwoggie followers in line. But, comeon! That's really the best he's got??? That's right, folks - there's nothing you can do here. Just go about your business now and remember to send your monthly check in to DNC. Stone me! I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!

PS: For extra hilarity, check out Digby's Braintrust in the comments. ("We could hire our own lobbyist!")

Sing In Me, Oh Muse!

As long as we're on the subject of public sex acts, stroll on over to the NewsPwoggers and take a good, long, steamin' gawk at this pean to walking-talking-blogging human rights atrocity Andrew Sullivan. After posting a previous bloviation taking Sullivan to task for not being fulsome enough in his praise for God-Emperor Obama, pundit-wannabe and full time suckup Martin posts a typically mealy-mouthed apology to Iraq War Pimp-In-Chief Sullivan, castigating himself for being too harsh on an elitist fuckwit who has since come to have a few niggling doubts on his enthusiastic contributions to the deaths of over a million Iraqi human beings.

In Which Digby Discovers White People

Via a middling-fair spy thriller Matt Damon did in between Bourne flicks, Pwogwessive Doyenne and Queen of Lesser-Evilstan Digby has come to the startling revelation that upperclass white people exist and pretty much run the country. Quell horreur! Tune in tomorrow - when our intrepid Pwoggie Princess will discover that the Earth is fairly roundish, water is kind of damp and Adam Sandler has never been funny.

Pwoggie Gatekeeper Blues

Shorter Shake-A-Puddin':

I'm not satisfied with the crumbs I'm getting from my masters and betters. Our Savior must give us tastier crumbs or, or, uh, I'll write on my blog about it. Unless he doesn't want to, I mean. And, and, it's all the media's fault, anyway! Haha! Yes, it's the mean old MSM that's keeping us down. Boooo!

A Demotard Fairytale

Way way back in the misty ancient yesteryears of time, a small band of ninety brave democratic party reps (well, 79 plus Ron Paul) signed a letter. This brave missive bravely stated that the undersigned, lets call them THE MIGHTY NINETY, would abso-tootly-ootly NOT support "any additional funds for U.S. military operations in Iraq other than a time-bound, safe redeployment as stipulated above."

Thus did THE MIGHTY NINETY in their bravery oppose the evil depredations of the evil tyrant George Bush II in the Fiscal Year Of Our Lord 2008. And their progressive democratic party flunkies, already full of the Hope for Change given to them by The Future Savior of Our Nation, celebrated the brave bravity-brave bravery of THE MIGHTY NINETY.

Huzzah.

Fast forward a year or so. With the evil tyrant overthrown and God-Emperor Obama safely ensconced in office, once again the MIGHTY NINETY (minus one who was lost in the primaries of '08) were presented with $106 Billion bill in continue funding the occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan. And once again the MIGHTY...er...EIGHTYNINE, stood up and, with brave resolution, 64 of them voted for continuing the wars.

And that's why we need Mo'Betta Dems! Send your checks in to the PDA today! Hope For Change! Etc.!

Big Dog Bill And The Pwoggie-Bloggie Brigade Do Lunch

Shorter NewsPwoggers:

Hey teen gang! I just got our marching orders from Big Dog (swoon!) You remember him, dontcha? He's the super-groovy president that drove a big spike through the Kyoto Treaty back in the '90s Clinton Era of Peace And Prosperity. Anyway, he said some nice things about health care and how we're supposed to pimp God-Emperor Obama's weak, sabotaged and all-but-useless Cap and Trade system because, gosh, the environment is just soooooo important and stuff. And then he shook my hand! I'll never wash this hand again! Eeeeeeeeee!

Well, sure, watching these demotards pretend to care about global warming is amusing. Especially when they're pimping corporate greenwash like Cap 'n Trade. But does anyone else feel kinda queasy when these pwoggies fellate their masters and betters in public like that? Get a room, guys!

Dear Republicrats,

Just doing a little experimenting with Blogger's text editor, so I reckoned I'd send out a big juicy BITE ME to all you pwoggies out there in Blogistan while I was at it. Here's hoping that each and every one of you mealy-mouthed do-nothing sorry little fauxgressives get run over by a Greyhound really soon now.

Luv,

~Alan