Monday, September 20, 2010

A Letter Back From America

Josh (and friend) at a 'Save the Tiger' rally in Kabul
"Anyone know where I can find the anti-war movement?"

Dear Josh in Kabul,

Just read your "sloppy rant" over at NewsPwoggers. A few brief points, if I may:

1. You have no fucking clue what (or who) "the left" is. I dunno, maybe it's because you're a lameass democrat. (Don't even bother pretending your not, Josh. Don't even try to tell me you're some kind of vague-ass "independent" who just happens to flack for lesser-evil Democrats. Don't waste the electrons. Srsly.) Maybe you think you or some faction of your corporate-owned blood-soaked corruption-riddled party is "the left." It isn't, of course. Which brings us to...

B. ...the "anti-war movement." No part of your party constitutes, in any way, shape or form, even the most minutest tiniest teensy-weensyest part of the anti-war movement. Your party drove a fucking spike through the old anti-war movement back in 2004. It's dead, Jim. It's deader than Van Jones' career. The anti-war movement that's grown up since then, well, I doubt it's even a blip on your Washington Consensus Radar. That's just as well, really.

III. If/When you do get back from your little Kabul field trip, and by some massive stroke of misfortune you do figure out what groups constitute the left and the anti-war movement, do us all a favor. Stay as far as fucking away as you can manage. You're party is fucking toxic, Josh. Everything you and your foundation funded think tank corporate demotard flunkies touch turns to absolute shit. You know how Afghanistan is called "the graveyard of empires?" Well your party, the Democrat Party, is the fabulous fabled elephants graveyard of social movements. So stay in your bullshit job, make fauxgressives feel good about giving money to your DP bosses, and STAY THE FUCK AWAY.


-Alan Smithee


  1. Awesome post, Smithee.

    You pretty much read my mind in B. and III. I and my fellow Posse members saw a distinct onset of lameness in the anti-war "movement" following their stand-down to avoid hurting the Donkeycrats in the 2004 "elections" -- culminating in what could only be described as the Dullest. Mobe. EVER. in January of '07.

    And, you pretty much took the words right out of my mouth re: any new antiwar movement that manages to get rolling, with your admonishment to the Donkeycrats to stay the fuck away from us. Seriously, I'd rather have a mobilization with only ten or twelve thousand seriously committed real Progressives than a mobe with a hundred thousand, ninety thousand of which are opportunist Donkeycrats and Pwogs looking to attend a Donkeycratic GOTV pep rally.

    This is basically what the big abortion-rights mobe was in DC in the spring of '04 -- featuring such stellar speakers as Bonnie Franklin, Whoopi Goldberg and Madeleine Albright*, who all adopted the brilliant vote-wrangling strategy of openly insulting Greens, progressives and Nader supporters from the stage. I could see the writing on the wall that day, amidst the sea of MoveOn, Human Rights Campaign and NARAL mass-printed placards in the streets.

    This is why I'm so not looking forward to the big October 2 event here in DC, even though it's ostensibly supposed to be our side. It's going to be mostly the NAACP, the AFL-CIA, and the Pwogwessive Democwats Of America in a big, fat, Donkeycratic GOTV event which will prove to be even worse, in its own way, than last month's Beckapalooza. At least the goddamn' Teabaggers were halfway entertaining, unlike the tedious, self-serious bunch that'll be infesting my city in a couple of weeks.


    *Yeah, when you're trying to advance womens' reproductive rights, there's nothing quite like having a real live baby-killer on the speakers' list. There was nothing that could warm the cockles of my little Progressive heart like the sight of that old warmongering hag Albright glowering down at me from a twenty-foot Jumbotron screen.

  2. Thanks Mike. Yeah, I remember the '04 march pretty vividly. It's the one that (belatedly) opened my eyes to what a fraud the UFPJ was. And, after Benjamin & Cobb sabotaged the Calif. Green Convention that year, I finally figured out just how totally fucked we were.

    I think most of the new anti-war groups are savvy to the Media Benjamin / John Nichols style sabotage campaigns. Right now their best defense is anonymity. Fortunately, like their freeper cousines, pwogwessive democrat operatives like Josh are blindfolded by their own fauxgressive beltway media bubble. They literally can't see through the fine mist of bullshit they themselves spew. So I'm fairly confident the Washington Joshs won't even begin to know where to look.