Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday Pwoggie Roundup - Move 'em out, pwoghide!


Teh intarwebs was gifted today with a jar of Instant Hilarity, courtesy of White House Press Fellator-In-Chief Bobby Gibbs. The faugressive moo-cow reaction to his stampy little hissy fit was immediate and immediately hilarious. Here's the roundup:

Alas, A Pwog - "You know what's really important? Fat kids."

Balk the Left - {Okay, how can I soft peddle this so my pwoggies don't spin out of control like last time?} "Here's a thread and another and another DONE! Controversy over! Now find something else to talk about."

Bibbidybobbidyboo - "OMG look at the wingnuts! How could anyone not vote democrat after seeing these tea party racists who are so racist and insane?"

Extweeeeeeeem! - "The TARP bailout was signed by teh Bush! I have proof! Our God-Emperor is holy and blameless and perfect in every way! All Hail the God-Emperor!"

Gesundheit - "Hahaha. That Gibbs - what a card. Hahaha. Ha."

Newspwoggers - "Hi. I haven't got the foggiest fucking clue about US foreign policy, military strategy or history in general. But, hey, I might get a chair at nutroots nation if spew coherent-sounding bibble-babble long enough!"

Obot Left - "Hey! Watch out! Doesn't the White House know we're SWING VOTERS? We might not vote Democrat next time, ya know! And now I'm going to ignore thirty years of history and present my proof. Exit polls! Haha! My logic is infallible!"

Pwogman! - "I know just how Gibbs feels. Damn those progressives who don't listen to me and think the way I tell them to! Damn them!"

Shakes the Democrat - "Teh Outrage! Worship me, shakies! (And remember, I'll banish anyone who disagrees with me!)"

Shakes' Comments Section - "We worship you! We worship you!"

Grampa Institution - "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

Lamey - "My taxes pay your salary, Gibbs! So watch out! Oh, and, uh, Fuck You! Yeah, that's it! Boy am I edgy!"

Panderdome - "I'm not a hippie, and I'll always support the Democratic Party of America no matter what they do, but I'm still offended. But the point is, my taxes pays Gibbs salary! How dare he!"
Extreme Liberal (actual photo)

Update: Correctly assuming that her pwoggie bloggie followers aren't much different from her dog, and thus won't get excited if she doesn't get excited, Diggy emerges from her gated community to pronounce: "Eh. No big deal.")

Son of Update: Making up for lost time, rising pwog-dog star Extreeeeeeeeem Wibberal twirls with delight, his little tail wagging like a metronome on overdrive, straining at the leash to personally lick Bobby Gibbs boots. Three posts and counting! ("Fuckington Post?" Really?)

Update 3 - in 3D!: And the prize for the most nauseating Obot apologia goes to cringing democrat toady Mike Lux at Obot Left for bragging about his work on reconciling pwoggies and union dupes to the wonders of NAFTA. (Hey, fuckhead, I've got 2 million landless Mexican farmers who'd like to have a word with you, you fucking shithead.)


  1. I dig the "bibbidybobbidyboo" tag for Miss-I-Worked-at-a-Think-Tank-so-that-Makes-Me-a-Genius!

  2. I wish I could claim credit, but Susan came up with that one. So I just stole it.

  3. [puts on Sarah Palin handpuppet, wiggles fingers]

    Ooga-booga!! Scareeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!

    There. I'm ready for my new career as Demo blogger now.

  4. {voice over} You, too, can be a second tier pwog blogger like Digby in just a few short lessons! You're Insty-Pwog kit will contain a genuine Sarah Palin handpuppet, a cheerleader uniform (one size fits all!) and an overweening sense of self-importance - all for just 29.95!

  5. Indispensable summaries such as this are an invaluable service. Thank you very much!

  6. Ridin' herd on their rainbow sparkle ponies

  7. Spartacus:

    Ridin' herd on their rainbow sparkle ponies...

    ...high on cocaine?

    At least it wouldn't show up in the standard drug test, right?

  8. I love the "my taxes pay your salary" complaint/empty threat. It reminds me of the George Carlin bit where he imagines getting pulled over by a cop and saying, "Hey, don't I pay your salary? Fuck off!" I mean, yeah, technically true, but laughable to think it carries any weight. But hey, whatever it takes to maintain the illusion of being in control of "our" government, I guess.

  9. Your translation of the quote from Alas, A Pwog pretty much nails it. See my previous remarks re: the child obesity "issue" as a nice, safe diversion for pwogs and Wiberals.

    As I've been in South Africa for the past two weeks and blissfully out of touch with the "news" from the USA -- having assiduously avoided TV and teh intertubes -- Gibbs' remarks are new news to me. A small part of me is disgusted and outraged, but 99 and 44/100% of me is totally unsurprised and laughing its ass off. Black Agenda Report has a devestating, ass-ripping post about Gibbs' popping-off, but I think even BAR is getting waaaaaay too worked-up over that shit.

    I think somebody needs a piss test, but it sure as hell ain't me.

    Drivin' that train, high on cocaine,
    Casey Jones, you better watch your speed!
    Trouble ahead, trouble behind;
    And ya' know that notion
    just crossed my mind!