Boring-Ass

Regular Panderdome reader (actual photo)

Having read Panderdome for some time now (certainly longer than I care to remember) I've come to the conclusion that, as ignorant and distasteful as Amanda Pander's politics are, her taste in movies is far, far worse.

Witness this glowing review of Kick-Ass, a comic book movie so blatantly contemptuous of it's target audience it doesn't even bother to hide it:

There were two things I knew coming out of the movie “Kick-Ass”: that I loved it, and that it was going to be one of those movies that really divides people.

Uh, well, not really. Popular consensus seems to have met oh-so-controversial Kick-Ass with a gigantic yawn. More people went to How To Train Your Dragon and that piece of CGI fluff has been in the theaters for four fucking weeks.

The plain fact is that Kick-Ass is simply another comic book movie that wears it's contempt for it's audience on it's sleeve. That it features some kiddie gore-porn in the form of Chloë Moretz as a violent 11 year old "superhero" just shows how far western comic books are behind Japanese anime. (And, yes, they're comic books. The term "graphic novel" was invented by marketing firms to give a thin veneer of legitimacy to six issue compilation comics that their target fanboy demographic might otherwise balk at wasting money on.)

Reading Amanda Pander's blitherings about the film reveals her basic ignorance of the fact that male adolescent revenge fantasy (with generous amounts of homoerotic undertone) has formed the basis of superhero comic books since their invention. The pimply teenage boys who are comic book movie's target audience don't go to them because they appreciate complexity of visual storytelling or the nuances of cinema. They go so they can grope themselves beneath their popcorn boxes while watching muscular spandex-clad men commit horrendous acts of violence. The reason Kick-Ass did so poorly amongst it's target demographic has more to do with the fact that it did not feature the above mentioned muscular spandex-clad men, but rather a spandex-clad little girl - and your average fanboy is already sexually confused as it is. No way are they going to know what to make of that.

However, I predict that Kick-Ass will do boffo box office amongst Japanese business men.

The Outrage of a Toad(y)

BowWow prepares for a heavy day of craven bootlicking.

Chris BowWow, the DNC lapdog, is bemoaning the potential loss a major anti-teaparty weapon from his potent pwoggie arsenal of justice and freedom. But let's let him explain in his own words:

The methodology by which progressive media has attempted to delegitimize the tea party has two main trhusts:

1. Focus on how it was generated through large media and financial backing, rather than as a bottom-up, grassroots effort;
2. Anecdotally focus on the craziest tea party protesters, implying that they are representative of the movement as a whole.

While #2 has been the most successful, the efforts of a progressive in Oregon is about to singlehandedly render it useless. By publicly declaring his intention to infiltrate the tea parties with protesters to use as anecdotes for #2, Jason Levin is going to call all anecdotal examples of tea party craziness into question, thereby legitimizing the tea party protests even more.

Teh horrors! How dare this non-pwogwessvie-sanctioned upstart deprive Chris BowWow and his mighty pwoggie klaque of kool kids of a successful bit of lying-ass scumbaggery! Harrumph!

The first point is true only insofar as it depends on the group you happen to be examining. TeaPartiers are hardly a cohesive bunch. But BowWow's second strategery has been around since Hector was a pup. Media outlets have been using the 'Lookit the Crazy!' hook since the days of Charlemagne. And it's just as scummy and dishonest now as it always has been. But then, scummy and dishonest are pwogwessive trademakes - along with bootlicking, hypocrisy and a poor sense of style.

OBOMBA! FUCK YEAH!!!

You know that elderly relative that blurs out racial epithets at Thanksgiving and embarrasses you in front of your girl/boyfriend? Well, over at his "institute," (read: 'assisted living community') Grampa has found something out about his much beloved God-Emperor...and finds it hi-larious! What's the source of gramp's mirth? Pakistani drone attack casualties!

"...what goes on between consenting nation-states within the privacy of their own borders is their own business, and this is just as healthy and loving and beautiful as any diplomatic arrangement."

Grampa - "Teh Funneh!"

Because, ya know, eviscerating children with drone-launched Hellfire missiles is a ripe field for comedy. And, hey, remember that picture of the Vietnamese kids running down the road with half their fucking skin burnt off by napalm? Fucking Comedy Gold, man!

And, hey, Gramps even approves of these atrocities! So long as they "get us out" of Afghanistan by 2012, well, Grampa has no problem with this:

Go-'Bama! Go-'Bama! Whooooot!

(Update: More hilarity for Grampa and the demotard peanut gallery as the forces of their God-Emperor admit to murdering pregnant women. Wheeee-Ha! Can't wait for his next laugh-packed post!))

Digby WTF #9,213

Look, I know there's something inane published about ever other minute on Diggly-Wiggly. After all, that festering sore of a pwoggie blog is the one-stop shop for all things demotard. But, bullying is a the fault of republicans? Seriously?

"...there are real life ramifications to the spectacle of average Americans behaving like thugs. I think this may be one of them."

She goes on to insinuate that the suicide death of a young immigrant girl is the fault of right wing radio pundits, Bush administration torture policy, Sarah Palin's moose hunting, increased postage stamp prices, The Smashing Pumpkins, overly-salted french fries and super-violent Japanese anime. Or a few of those, anyway.

It's sick - using this youngster's suicide to score cheap political points. I know, I know - that kind of behavior is to expected from partisan hack-wannabes like Digby. After all, she's only imitating the mealy-mouthed demotard pundits she watches on TV. Or at least, that explanation makes more sense than trying to pin this death on Glen Fucking Beck.

The Last (Health Insurance Subsidy Bill) Roundup

Alas, A Pwog - "Sure, women were thrown under the bus. But only the first four wheels! Victory!" (Update: "Necrophilia? Sure! FapFapFapFap!")

Balk the Left - "It would have been a lot better if they'd done it my way. (Pout!)

Diggly-Wiggly - "We're gonna get a pony soon! I can just feel it!" (Update: How DARE you disagree with me on this historic legislation! THE COMMENTS ARE CLOSED!)

Extreeeeeeme! - "OMG! OMG! W GOT A PONY! OBAMA GAVE US A PONY! RALPH NADER SUCKS! WE WIN 4-EVAR!!!eleventy!! FapFapFapFap!"

Gesundheit - "It was, of course, inevitable that I should be right. Fetch me another hopium pipe, you bally woggy! Chop chop!"

Newspwoggers - "I don't care how crappy the bill is. If it hurts the rethugugpugrapelicans, it's a good thing!"

Obot Left - "It's the Progressive Revolution For Hope and Change and A Pony! Well, mostly."

Pwogman! - (Sitting next to Extreeeeeem.) "FapFapFapFap!" (Update: "Did somebody say 'necrophilia?' Oh boy! FappityFappityFappity!")

Shakes the Demotard - "Um, well, whatever Atrios says. WORSHIP ME!"

Grampa - "Eh? Whut? Damn republicans!" {Shakes cane.}

Lamey - (Sitting next to Pwogman!) "FapFapFapFap!"

The Panderdome - "Hey! What's the matter with being thrown under the bus? I like it under the bus! Don't you?"

Health Insurance Bill Wrap-Up

As far as recent developments go, this pretty much says it all...

"As with Progressive Democrats, so with progressives who vote for Democrats. Yes, they're angry about Iraq and Afghanistan and civil liberties and bailouts and drone strikes and health care and every other atrocity the Democrats sponsor or support, but it doesn't make a damn bit of difference, because everyone knows that no matter what happens they'll still dutifully vote for those same Democrats. And until the day comes when they finally decide there is some shit they will not eat, they'll continue to lose."

~David John Caruso - The Origami Congressman

Direct from the Forbidden City...