Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Post-eleciton Rationalization Roundup


Alas, a Pwog - "I'm desperate for Our Team to win. But, it doesn't matter who gets elected because Our Team wins either way. But, it's the economy's fault if we don't win. So there!"

Balk the Left - "This loss means Our Team will win big big big in November! Yay Team! Whooooot!"

Diggly-Wiggly - "It's the center-right-left-center-left-right Democrats fault!"

Extreeeeeeem - "God-Emperor Obama is wonderful! The election loss mean's nothing, understand? Nothing! And it's all the stupid idiot dummyhead Massachusetts voters fault anyway!"

Gesundheit - "Oh well. Ho-hum. I'm not worried. Not in the least. First!"

Newspwoggers - "Coakley was an awful candidate, and she ran an awful campaign. That's why it's not so bad, see? And besides, just because I support and campaign and vote for warmongering bloody-handed corporate fucktards doesn't mean I bear any responsibility when they blow toddlers into bloody chunks with cruise missiles. Plus, I can lose weight by eating ice cream! These polls prove it!"

Obot Left - "Coakley was an awful candidate, and she ran an awful campaign. Because, who really cares what her record is. Anyway, here's a couple dozen irrelevant charts to prove it."

Panderdome - "Those stupid stupid voters! They're so fucking stupid! Stupid! Only God-Emperor Obama can save us now!"

Pwogman! - "Coakley was an awful candidate and she, aw fuck! I can't even bring myself to cut-and-paste from the listserv."

Shake-A-Puddin' - "The media is teh awful! Validate my opinion, proles!"

Grampa - "Gud'damn terrists...zzzzzzzz."

Rudy - "Fucking weasel fucking goddamn shit fucking republicans shit fuck BUY MY CD!"


  1. Wow, you actually made another post. Did you get out of rehab or something?

  2. Well, at least the Republican guy is making his daughters available, even the married one. What the hell did Coakley offer?

  3. Coakley self-aborted with a coat hanger 3 female fetuses while she was climbing the prosecutorial office ladder. Each was a result of a "plea bargain meeting" with a "perp."

  4. Don't forget that whole batshit insane "repressed memory" kick Coakley was on. Who could resist that?

  5. As a weak, no-integrity tool of Empire, Coakley could only project her own repressed memories of having no soul or conscience, project them onto "perps." Her plea-bargain conjugal visits were her way of "amending" the foul projection.

  6. Which brings us to the forlorn cry going up on the pwoggie blogs: "How could voters not support such a wonderful progressive candidate???" Because, when it comes to democrats, it's always God's Will or somebody elses fault.

  7. The Evil Rethuglicans MADE the Noble Democrats run the sure-to-fail Coakley. It's all their fault! They're always forcing the Noble Democrats to do untoward things! They're such rapscallions!

  8. Looks like the crackpot realists are making a bold stand on Gawker... which is a shame, because I really do dig Gawker. Still, it's a comment in the comments thread, not by an actual writer there.

    Between my somehow just not being able to get up the motivation to argue with the OP of the Gawker thread, and my desperation to stay focused on coming up with a good Haiti cartoon, I've pretty much let this slide, but am passing it along to you folks, for your cheap laffs enjoyment. And so, I give you now, A Crackpot Realist On Gawker, from the top of the comments thread at Happy Birthday, Barack Obama Administration!

    comment by Marin79:
    To put Obama's first year in perspective, I think liberals need to remember that MCCAIN & PALIN could be in office now. I know we have a far way to go on many of the issues listed above, but if Obama had not been elected, here's just a few things crybaby liberals need to consider if there were no Obama...

    ~ We still would have be HATED by the world

    ~ We'd have invaded Iran and Yemen

    ~ There would be no plan to EVER leave Iraq or Afghanistan

    ~ We'd have yet another conservative judge on the Supreme Court just waiting for the day to turnover Roe v Wade.

    ~ The economy would have been even more fucked since McCain actually thought it was strong the day Lehman collapsed & would have appointed another Paulson as Treasury Sec

    ~ We'd still be water boarding every suspected terrorist @ Gitmo and holding them without any plans for future trials

    ~ We wouldn't even have a crappy attempt at Healthcare Reform (that while nowhere near perfect would give MILLIONS of people healthcare, which is the point)

    And the list could go on & on.... Yes, I know that lots of people - including myself at times - have been disappointed by some of the Obama's administrations decisions (and I do have a full on hate for Congress), but the idea that he's already failed the people who have voted for him (and I have some crazy friends who feel this way) is just too much.


    Yeah, gang; y'hear that? According to this doorknob, our beliefs are fargin' insane. Well, hot damn diggety, I'm sure glad that's settled. Mwoooooaaahh ha ha ha ha ha hahhhh.

  9. re: Panderdome:

    "You see? You see??
    Your stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!!"

    --Space Alien Officer,
    in Ed Wood's Plan 9.

  10. We're all just stupid purity police. We need to be more realistic. It's not enough for the Democrats to totally dominate Fed Govt. Until they have all 9 seats on the SCOTUS filled with clones of Obama, and have all 535 seats in the Congress, and the White House and the Cabinet all stocked with Noble Democrats, the nation is clearly in dire straits! All it takes is one Evil Rethuglican to thwart the Noble Democrats!

  11. This truly is the most important election ever in the history of elections ever. It's true! I read it on DailyKos!

  12. I'm afraid to go look on the local LJ for the post-election/pre-health "reform"-fa!l carnage. I must be getting old. :/