The End of the World as We Know It

(Lord of the Rings 4 - Return of the Pwogs)

Apres election, Diggy has been in full-blown-gonzo butthurt meltdown mode. Yet, while mourning the losses of her filthy warmongering corporate-owned party, the Democrat Drahma Queen is also listening to more right wing media than the average John Bircher. 'Why would anyone torture herself like that?' I hear you ask. 'Easy.' You hear me answer. Diggy's breathlessly waiting to hear Sarah Palin order her minions to go forth and wipe out liberals Rwanda-style:

"But this daily ranting about the evil of liberalism and the inhumanity of liberals seems to finally be reaching some sort of critical mass in which those on the right who hear nothing but this sort of raving all day long have come to believe that liberals -- not liberalism -- must be eliminated."

Of course, Diggy goes on to mitigate her hysterical (-ly funneh!) statement in the next sentence. (Like most passive-aggressive pwogs, Diggy doesn't actually mean anything she writes because that would be too much like making a stand.) Yet here she is, trying to sell visions of Beckian hoards storming out of the flyover states to besiege the gates of her gated California community Minas Tirith-style.

Is Diggy tuning in to assclowns like Limbaugh and Beck on an hourly basis to somehow deaden the agony of defeat? Is she already trying to scare her fauxgressive followers into action for 2012? Your guess is as good as mine.

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Rationalization-A-Palooza!

Having been pounded in the latest round of ballot box stuffing, our little herd of pwoggie moo cows is in rough shape. They've got a dilemma. Our brave access bloggers must rationalize to their demotard fans their corporate warmongering party's loss to the other corporate warmongering party! The intarweb pwog faithful must be keep in line, but how? This is serious business! A lot of PayPal donations, interviews with minor administration flacks and Nutroots Nation seats are riding on this. Here's the "shorter" rationalization roundup:

Balk the Left - 'Our Team lost because of the economy and stupid stupid voters!' Plus this gem from the exasperated comments section:

"But take healthcare reform alone: how on any planet can that be argued as incremental? Even it's detractors on the left acknowledged that it was the most material progressive societal policy change since the Depression."

Bwa!

Bibbitybobbityboo - 'Our Team lost because of the economy and stupid stupid old people!'

Extreeeeeem Obot - 'BETRAYAL! MURDER! FIREBAGGERS MADE US LOSE! DAMN YOU HAMSHER AND GREENWAAAAAALD! But it's all part of natures great cycle so I'm not worried. Nope. Not at all. DAAAAAAAMN YOUUUUUU SUSIE MANDRAKE!!!'

Gesundheit - 'We lost because of the bad economy. My master didn't know we would lose because of the bad economy. I could have told my master we would lose because of the bad economy but I was at the vet that day. Woof. '

Newspwoggers - 'I'm too depressed to make excuses for my democrat masters and betters right now - so here's what everyone else thinks.'

Obot Left - Of course it's obvious we won even though we lost.

Pwogman! - 'We lost because stupid white people didn't vote for our team. We must move our party to the right!'

Shakes the Democrat - [Shakes channeling "Eros" from Plan Nine From Outer Space] 'You see? You see? You stupid voters and your stupid minds! Now we're doomed! DOOMED I tell you! Stupid! Stupid!'

The Lame Gimmick Pundit - 'You see? You see? You stupid voters and your stupid m...wait, did someone do this bit already? Dammit!'

The Panderdome - 'Racist homophobic old white people stole the election from us. But I have a cunning plan. We'll out live them!'