Monday, September 27, 2010

Dissention In The Ranks

In his minds-eye, Pwogman! secretly thinks he looks just like this. Srsly. Lulz.


Recently the libertarians had the pleasant experience of having their Tea Party movement co-opted by the GOP. Now, in the wake of an undeniablely fascist scent wafting from the corporate-owned-and-operated Obama administration, are the pwogs who put him in office admist hosannas and rainbows now distancing themselves by trying to rebrand themselves as "Hippies?" Let's sift the clues...

Item: Does Pwogman! - the pwoggiest pwog who ever pwogged a pwog, know what his sidekick Stevie the Wonder D is doing?

Pwogman! has always been a super-demotard hippie puncher, super-railing against anyone to the left of Nixon in his corporate-owned toxic-landfill-of-a-party. Hilariously, he seems to think of himself in the "hippie" camp despite the fact that he's rooted so firmly on the corporate beltway side you couldn't pry him up with a tractor and a stick of TNT. And yet here's his scrappy little sidekick trying to reconcile a spat between faux-liberal democrat Jane Hamper and right-wing DLCer 'Ol Juan King Cole!

Is Stevie the Wonder D going to get the boot from the Fortress of Pwogitude? How long will it be before Pwogman! is looking for another sidekick? Tune in tomorrow! Same pwog time! Same pwog channel!

Item: Democrat Dave Anderson, one of the fearfulless pwoggie NewsPwoggers, seems to think of himself as a "hippie" too! Here's a clue for ya, Dave. If you voted for the God-Emperor - YOU'RE NOT A HIPPIE. DUMBASS.

Item: Even ace thanksralpher and think tank reject Diggles is fretting over all this so-called "hippie punching" - helpfully providing us with a history or the term through the centuries so filled with bullshit you'd think you were standing in the middle of an industrial feedlot.

Item: At least DNC insider Dr. Rosenrosen of Obot Left is sticking to his guns, ridiculing the very idea of doing anything outside of the sacred Democratic Party. (Harrumph!) He's (not very successfully) trying to use an already antiquated 4chan meme to paint all those annoying third party hippies as "Underpants Gnomes." Paging Dr. Rosenrosen - Ur l33t haxxor ski!!z r teh gey!!1!

Item: Speaking of lame attempts at humor, the Democratic Party bootlick called The Lame Gimmick Pundit has called forth from it's hoary grave the LOLcats meme to help explain away a weeks worth of his parties pettifoggery. What's next? Dancing Baby? Star Wars Kid? Pirates vs Ninjas? Your failures, let me show you them.

14 comments:

  1. Beyond the PwoggiedomeSeptember 28, 2010 at 8:28 AM

    John King Cole is the ultimate pwog apologist along with Bob Cesca. No matter what Obama does they make excuses. I seriously don't know how you can explain away the new (scary) executive powers Obama is securing for himself. My take is that liberals are essentially just as authoritarian as the conservatives, but they go through all these philosophical somersaults to justify their party's ignominious policies. They seem to like fascism just as much as the Tea Baggers.

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  2. Pwogs tolerate security state fascism, along with resource wars, corporate bailouts, ad-fucking-nauseam, because none of it really affects them.

    A good example is Adam "Maximum Leader" Bink over at Obot left. He's so concerned about marriage equality, DADT, anti-discrimination laws, and so forth that he's willing to sacrifice them all for the good the party. (Wouldn't want to be a "one issue" voter, dontcha know.) And why not? Maximum Adam can afford to. Nothing takes the edge off of urgent national issues like financial security. And Adam will always have a nice sinecure with the DP so long as he can push the right buttons on the gAyTM.

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  3. Tell ya' what, gang... if you want to see some real world-class desperate apologia and excuse-making, check out the comments columns under articles reporting on Obama and the Donkeycrats' latest FAILs at Gawker.

    I've long since given up making reasoned, logical arguments to explain why they're hopelessly delusional, because they basically react with the Internet version of a campaign rally full of acolytes chanting "Yes, We Can!

    Remember the dissident Black Progressives who bird-dogged Obama's campaign appearances, leafletting, infiltrating the rallies and holding up a banner reading What About The Black Community, Obama? Scope around for it on YouTube; as soon as the banners go up, you can hear the heads exploding all over the place. Well, same thing. It's fucking comical, man.

    So, anyway... instead of rationally arguing until I'm blue in the face, I've decided to have myself some cheap laffs by taunting Gawker commentards with links to news articles on Obama's claiming the right to extrajudicial assassinations, his attempts to quash investigations of war crimes, his demanding the right to wiretap Internet communications, his public insults directed at his "base" for being fed up with his bullshit, etc. etc., followed with the question "How are you digging the Change? BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

    Oh, the hilarity that ensues. I fucking love Gawker, man.

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  4. Beyond the PwoggiedomeSeptember 28, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    It's sad its come to this. It's obvious what needs to be done--yet people can't bring themselves to make these amoral cretins do it. I am coming to the conclusion that we are in the throes of a deep system failure and no amount of amelioration will save it. Something is very broken--and I think many of us sense it. But what to do? It scares the shit out of me.

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  5. "So, anyway... instead of rationally arguing until I'm blue in the face, I've decided to have myself some cheap laffs by taunting Gawker commentards with links to news articles on Obama's claiming the right to extrajudicial assassinations, his attempts to quash investigations of war crimes, his demanding the right to wiretap Internet communications, his public insults directed at his "base" for being fed up with his bullshit, etc. etc., followed with the question "How are you digging the Change? BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!""

    In the face of overwhelming forces guerilla actions meant to disrupt their lines of communication and throw the enemy into disarray are a very smart move.

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  6. Stevie Wonder D at the "pwogman" says:

    "Really what is the benefit of a pissing contest when the Republicans and their mega-corporate (Wall Street bankers, Insurance Companies, Big Oil, etc.) leash holders could be back in charge of Congress after November"

    Wait... I thought it was the Democrats and their mega-corporate leash holders that were in control the last two years. You mean we might have some Republicans and their mega-corporate leash holders in power instead?

    Well, I'm duly ascared.

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  7. Truly, the change would be devastating. Truly.

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  8. Howard Johnson's-- er, I mean-- Mike Flugennock's right!

    I can't wait to be unemployed again so that I, too, can start hanging out on Gawker all day long!

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  9. Speaking of libertarians, they've become the new boogeyman in the pwogosphere, I've noticed. They're lucky if they even get elected to the local water board and yet they're somehow to blame for everything that's wrong today.

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  10. True. Libertarians, especially anti-war libertarians, are the pwoggie's big target this year. Partly because they don't have anything else to post about and partly because they've already sabotaged the left side of the anti-war movement.

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  11. As long as this is still the top article after two or three weeks, and as long as we're still on the subject of hippie-bashing, check out my two latest blog ramblings at

    http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=666
    ...inspired by the likes of Maddow, Schultz and Olbermann droning on about all the wonderful achievements of Obummer's first two years.

    http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=671
    ...inspired by Joe Biden's infamous "whiner" remarks on TV, right to our faces, and Obummer's pissy, whiny interview in Rolling Stone.

    ...or, if you're feeling too lazy to read extensive amounts of written words, just download the cartoons at:

    http://www.sinkers.org/posters/yeswecan/yeswecan.jpg
    http://www.sinkers.org/posters/fuckinghippies/obama_poster.jpg

    ...and print 'em out, twist one up, and enjoy!

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  12. For more cheap laughs, check out rallytorestoresanity.com, an event coming up this weekend that until yesterday I was blissfully unaware of.

    Maybe they're going to fly my mother out so she can serve up her favorite admonishment to "Modulate your voice, dear."

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  13. Anonymous said...
    For more cheap laughs, check out rallytorestoresanity.com, an event coming up this weekend that until yesterday I was blissfully unaware of.

    Well, sadly, I'm going to be out there with the rest of my pals in the Town Hell Posse, covering this event hoping to make a nice, sarcastic music video out of it.

    After hearing about Oprah buying people plane tickets, and Arianna Huffington also offering to chip in for transportation and hotels, I thought oh, fucking shit, another lame-assed event even lamer than One Nation Working Together, if anything could be any lamer than that! F'crissakes, fucking Oprah's endorsing this goddamn thing! I emailed my Posse-mates to tell them that I was bailing because I just couldn't stand another afternoon of such sheer lameness, but, unfortunately, they talked me back into going by dangling this:

    http://anarchistnews.org/?q=node/12434

    ...in front of my face. A bunch of anarchists are supposedly trying to rustle up a Black Bloc to stir things up at the Rally To Restore Sanity -- or, as the anarchists have appropriately dubbed it, the Million Moderate March.

    I'm not holding out much hope myself, as most DC-based anarchist action calls have proven to be embarassingly weak. I can only hope that this event is so abysmally lame that it's comical; that was the problem with One Nation Working Together; it was lame as shit, but just not lame enough to be funny -- though it was just lame enough to be pathetic.

    I'm predicting that I'll go out for this crummy-assed rally and shoot about an hour's worth of footage of a bunch of self-satisfied Liberals standing around being "civil", the anarchist action call will be for shit, and I'll go home even more depressed than I already am these days and without a single minute of footage worth using.

    This is what happened with One Nation Working Together. I went into it with the hopes of catching shots of Liberals being comically lame, but instead they were just pathetically lame, and I went home with an hour of useless footage which only served to remind me of why I'm so goddamn' depressed these days:

    http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=661

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