Friday, August 13, 2010

A sad, sad day for pwoggiedom

Mystery Matt's last known photo

That bastion of journalistic excellence, Progressive Reports Now, has published a shocking transcript of what may very well be the last interview of A-list pwoggie bloggie doggie / Hah-vad dipshit Matt Yglesias.

Our spies whisper that, in the course of an interview with ace fictional reporter Amber Milgram, every fauxgressives fave-rave fuckhead went into a ferocious feeding frenzy, consuming part of Amber's desk, some recording equipment and a passing office temp before lapsing into a coma-like state.

Reportedly, the last words of the professional bootlick were: "God...Dog...Krugman..."

No one at Yglesias' employer, DNC propaganda spewer Twink Pwogwess is talking - but rumors of his condition are multiplying like rabbits on meth. Some say he's dead. Some say he's still in a coma. Some say his head has been severed, placed in an ice cream bucket, frozen and shot into orbit. Some say he's been ground to a fine powder, shipped to China and sold as insect repellent. Some say he was only a couple of dogs in a man-suit to begin with.

Where in the word is Matt ? Who knows. But whatever the truth is, our crack DGH staff will keep updating this story as news, rumor and innuendo roll in.

7 comments:

  1. Amber Milgram is integrity personified!

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  2. Can somebody explain the origin of the eating joke to me? Honestly, I don't really keep up on the personal foibles/confessions of the Big Name Progs, so it's a mystery to me. Thanks.

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  3. Oh. I thought maybe it was some tidbit of Prog legend that I missed for lack of trading cards. Carry on.

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  4. His rhetorical urges suggest to me an inability to control an appetite, and parallel urges to consume whatever is highly unhealthy and pretty much shitty-tasting.

    Hence the frequent reference to fatty foods and ranch dressing.

    The references to prole food suggest that he, like Clarice Starling, is just one generation removed from trailer trash... Harvard degree nothwithstanding.

    He is the equivalent of a Twinkie. Pun intended.

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  5. Hell, man; I think the guy's always been in a coma, and he's always been headless.

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  6. Charles F. Oxtrot remarks:

    The references to prole food suggest that he, like Clarice Starling, is just one generation removed from trailer trash... Harvard degree nothwithstanding.

    He is the equivalent of a Twinkie. Pun intended.


    Hey, now... as a former prole, I resemble that remark. I ate more salads made of iceberg lettuce, out-of-season tomatoes and baby carrots drowned in Kraft Ranch dressing in my youth than I care to remember, and I turned out just fine.

    Still, Twinkies were too much, even for me. I always preferred the chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and the little vanilla curlycues on top. I may have been a prole, but I had good taste, man.

    (my verification word: bulumi. Coincidence?)

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