Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Center Cannot Hold!

I don't normally bother with the GOS because, well, it's just too fucking easy to be much fun. But this classic GBCW by DNC media shill Keith Olberman is too good to pass up:

"You want Cheerleaders? Hire the Buffalo Jills. You want diaries with conspiracy theories, go nuts. If you want this site the way it was even a year ago, let me know and I'll be back."

Oh! Teh Drama! Could it be even the Obots of Ko$ have finally at long last gotten sick of Olberman's faux-outrage schtick? Could the Hopey-Changey Sparkle Pony crowd have tumbled to Olberman & Maddow's stunningly obvious coordination with their White House masters and betters?

Well, probably not.


  1. I was actually pretty surprised when I got this news that Keith Olbermann -- or "Der Übermann" as my friends and I call him -- would actually bail on his blog at Kos because somebody flamed him in the comments. I mean, shit, man... if I had a nickel for every flame I got for a cartoon I published, I'd be Bill Fucking Gates right now. I know, I'm probably just weird -- but I actually relish raving, indignant flames from offended Liberals whenever I kick Donkeycratic Party ass in a cartoon... something about comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.

    Actually, say what you will about White House masters, but I really kinda dig Olbermann, especially after he raked the healthcare "reform" bill over the coals. I really dig his Special Commentaries, too, though I worry that he might be doing so many of them that they aren't special anymore -- though I suppose it's because there's just so much shit going down worthy of a Special Commentary these days.

    Now, talk about your White House cock gobblers; let's talk Rachel Maddow. Yeah, I know she's a lesbian, but she still sucks White House cock and swallows in a way that'd make Monica Lewinsky jealous. I dug her for about two weeks, then one night I saw her making excuses for the White House in a manner so blatant that it made me want to half-vomit in my mouth... not to mention that she's the punditry version of Flexaril. My wife falls asleep almost every night with Rachel Maddow on, and it can't possibly be that the wife just happens to be that tired between 9 and 10pm.

    Still, in terms of Donkeycratic Party fellating, neither of them comes close to that "Ed Show" guy -- Ed something, I forget his last name. Talk about your total Donkeycratic Party line-toeing... Ed's the champ. He doesn't even bother to pretend to be a progressive... not to mention that he's a goddamn' loud-assed blowhard.

  2. Ah, that would be Ed "I Know Noth-ING!" Schultz. He's the reverse Glen Beck - a right winger who swapped team red for team blue to boost his ratings.

    I remember Maddow mostly from her old Air America show, in which she'd embarrass her co-hosts with sullen little diatribes against the Green Party, Ralph Nader and anything that wasn't fully vetted by her democrat masters. As Oddball* would say, "She's a full fanatic freak, man!"

    *(Yes, that's a "Kelly's Heroes" reference. What of it?)

  3. Yeah, Ed Schultz; that's it.

    Actually, I knew he'd switched sides -- visited a soup kitchen with his sister and had an epiphany or some shit -- and switched to the Donkeycrats. Not much of a jump, if you ask me.

    As I recall, I also heard he was an up-and-coming right-wing radio howler in the Limbaugh tradition at the time, which explained his pushy, blustering windbag delivery style.

    During the two weeks in which I actually liked Rachel Maddow before discovering her Air America connection, it was largely because she was the only commentator anywhere on TV who wasn't incessantly leaning into the camera and yelling in my face. Her, and Olbermann. Olbermann can be a bit loud now and then, but at least he's funny. Whenever Maddow tries to be funny, she comes off like one of those stupid-assed jokes that my mom always forwards me in my email.

    I also quickly got tired of Maddow showing off how "smart" she is at every possible opportunity, not to mention that her style is dry as a popcorn fart. Whenever I see her on the air, it makes me wish to hell the Left had its own version of Limbaugh or Beck, someone who isn't afraid to raise hell, get whack, pop off and kick asses on the air, but without the distortions, lies and baseless innuendo (and, no, Olbermann doesn't count, even inasmuch as I dig him). Sadly, all the Left has is Amy Goodman, who's dour as hell, and who just sort of sits there looking as if she's never had a day of fun in her life.

    I really am convinced that the Left needs a Beck or a Limbaugh or an O'Reilly -- a totally crazy-assed, funny, off-the-hook motherfucker that can make people totally piss themselves. I mean, as long as the Right is pissing and moaning about the Left bias in media, why don't they put some real goddamn' Leftists on the air and let 'em rip, and really give the Rightists something to bitch about for a change.

    I mean, c'mon... Rachel Maddow? The goddamn' Teabaggers are whining about Rachel Fucking Maddow? Give me a big, fat break, man.

  4. Maybe Keithy can put this in one of his Special Commentary: "What to do when you get trolled on the interwebs"

    1) Deny, deflect, and obfuscate the incident.

    2) Add a huge dose of self-righteous indignant, "AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOOOOOUUUU!!!!" This will be the main counter-assault.

    3) Scream "ALEX JONES!!!!" as loud as you can.

    4) Run away to the loft, lock the door, and cry for a week straight.

    Keith Olbermann = PWNED
    Keith Olberman = FAIL

  5. The ONLY reasons Olbermann developed a following:

    1) Criticized Bush. (SEE: shooting fish in barrel, as metaphor)

    2) Former sportscaster. (SEE: chieftain of mindless distraction performed by uniformed gladiators, creating secret handshake with the "upwardly mobile" children of blue collar families wishing to become Upper Middle Class but unable to give up their obeisance to "pro sports")

    3) Wears a suit & tie and eyeglasses. (SEE: gravitas-as-uniform)

    4) Never offends anyone who isn't obviously deserving offense (SEE: (1) above).

    Has Keith Olbermann ever shared anything meaningful?


    Praise his Mask of Indignation... it's fine Kabuki!

  6. Olbermann, Maddow, and Schultz: DNC tools they may be, but, still... none of them come close to the all-time champeen, Chris Matthews -- or, as my buds and I like to call him, Chris Matthews, The Baby Eater.

  7. I suspect the Kosnik reaction is form Olberman not being Obot enough. Of course they will use whatever weapons they can--showing he is a phony ratings whore and so. But really this is just a convenient way to expedite the purge.

  8. He does a GBCW diary but can't resist adding a Tip Jar. *snort* How high school.

    Then again I guess it's to give them the chance to clap real hard so he'll come back as he says he might. Still, how Shakes the Clown of him.

    I'm embarrassed that I spent a good part of 2004 on that site.

  9. I spent a few weeks in 2006 on that site, until I was booted off for speaking my mind about the Israeli invasion of Lebanon. Luckily, I went in knowing that they were complete and humorless tools.

    My introduction to Daily Kos came when I was a regular reader of the British political humor blog, "Chase me, ladies, I'm in the cavalry." It's just one irreverent Brit's take on contemporary news; in this case he'd found an overwrought post by "ct" telling of the "near miss" he avoided by being... a couple thousand miles away at YearlyKos. He made light of it. Then some humorless stiff decided that this represented the gathering forces of the — gasp!"eliminationist right" (thank you, David Neiwert). But don't worry, we're truly in the hands of an expert. "dday" assures us that "I make jokes continually, so I'm pretty up on my joke construction." Then "Harry Hutton" then explained himself to even more general incomprehension from the dKos dumbasses.

    I stayed around for a bit, but when the choice had to be made between free speech and mindless support of Israeli slaughter....

  10. Yes, liberals are a bit sensitive. Like Mr. Tim Wise, for instance, who wags his finger at us on his Facebook:

    "Tim Wise is also upset about folks defending Obama no matter how reactionary his policies. But I find it absurd how some lefties, having overdosed on more-radical-than-thou pills think it's good strategy to call those liberals stupid or "sheep," when they fail to be where you want them to be. Show me one time in history that such an approach worked...dumbasses. Revolutionary rhetoric doesn't make u a revolutionary."

    Conversely, all those columns Wise wrote claiming everyone who failed to vote for Obama was a card-carrying racist WERE good strategy. Good to know the difference.

  11. So according to Tim Wise, I chose not to vote for Obama, owing to my entrenched racism against black people, and instead I voted for Cynthia McKinney, who is....

    Wait, something about that just doesn't compute.

  12. ^^
    Judging from the rapturous comments from his last post at DailyKos, Wise genuinely enjoys the liberal echo chamber. Wise never has anything good to say about genuine leftists because pwoggies are his bread and butter.

  13. Nullifidian:

    ...So according to Tim Wise, I chose not to vote for Obama, owing to my entrenched racism against black people, and instead I voted for Cynthia McKinney, who is....

    Wait, something about that just doesn't compute.

    Well, I'd hope that Wise doesn't think that voting Obama would have exonerated me from race-based privilege anymore than voting for McKinney has.

    OTOH, so many of these folks have disappeared so far up the Donklephant's ass that they probably aren't getting much in the way of oxygen. So never mind. :/

  14. The thing about Tim Wise is that for all his talk about white privilege, he remains either unaware or in denial of his own.